The 'burning' memory

THE PLACE : LEGIAN BALI YEAR : 2006
MY MISSION : To get a good tan.

MY ACCOMPLISHMENT : MAJOR SUN BURN - totally new, virginic skin. Very painful, if i may add.

All it took was 2 hours under the scorching sun and Banana Boat tan spray. I felt fine right after but about 3 hours later, i started feeling real hot and turning red. After the sunset cruise (pix), i went back to the hotel, filled the bathtub with cold water and soaked myself. After which, the bathroom was all steamed up! Can u imagine how hot i was????

My friend panicked cuz i did not answer her the whole 1.5 hours i was in the bathtub.

It was bad from there ..... it hurt to do anything - walk or anything else. I remember we were saying goodbye to our friends at the airport and i had to start walking first. When Jamie and Aida caught up with me, i was still not too far away. Walking was a pain.... skin full of water bubbles, itchy, etc.

I shall not explain further. Enough said. *ouch*

您能否讲普通话？

Ha ha.... i tried searching for "English to Chinese free online translator" and i found Yahoo! Babel Fish.

So the title supposed to mean ' Can you speak Mandarin?', or at least that is what i asked to be translated la. :)

Well, i am off to Shanghai on Thursday, on a VERY early morning flight. It'll be my first time 'balik kampung'. Am excited about it! Yeayy!!

:)

Miami Ink

I love watching it...seems like it's on almost every night?

So inspiring. I remember watching it for the first time at a friend's house. :) We both have a tattoo each, so i guess we thought we were all 'in the scene' and all. ha ha..

I think i am gonna get another soon..... i have found the spot. Hmm. And i think i have found the perfect butterfly even (not the typical type...)

Last night, one dude did a RIPPA on his stomach, honouring his cousin (a very close friend). Another guy did a potrait of his dead wife. She died at such a young age and she was beautiful. Beautiful smile.

It got me thinking - wouldn't it be great if people do it while everyone else is alive? I mean, it would be a definite WOW. Don't get me wrong...I mean, it is sweet 'in loving memory' and all....

I remember a guy did a potrait of his grandma (who was still alive but getting senile or something). Sweet.

Love it.

A walk in the park

When I go for my morning walks alone at the Taman Tun park, I love the sense of peace, admiring the trees, plants, drains and slippery path while I walk. The seemingly fresh air 7 in the morning. Smiling at fellow walkers…well, some just look down and whiz pass.

It is also a time for me to check my thoughts, clear my mind. And when I reach a point where my legs begin to hurt or I can feel my tired feet, soaked top and the weights becoming too heavy and a uphill walk ahead, I sometimes wanna give up.

This is when I tell myself, this is like life…..You wanna give up now???? Then with a deep, determined breath I march on. All in my head, these early morning conversations. I hope someone understands me here. :s

Reaching the top, I feel a sense of triumph and pride. In my head, it’s like – yeah, it gets difficult sometimes, but u face it head on and you will get through it.

So that’s my every morning motivation. Some have asked why I do it alone? Of course company would be great but alone if fine as well. It’s a ‘ME’ time. It’s better than having to make conversations with someone you don’t even wanna spend time with, no?

And sometimes, when I have the time after my walk, I would go to my fave Taman Tun coffee shop for some kopi-o-peng and read paper.

I miss that routine.

Conversations in my mind

I am so looking forward to the weekend. I need some zzzz.....

Last weekend in Penang with the family was excellent! Of course with a big group, there were the usual indecisiveness and delays but hey, it's expected so we live with it! :)

We also went to my grandmother's place in Air Hitam. It was her birthday - 89th birthday! Everyone was there except my mum. She had other important things to attend to in Port Dickson. But she was missed as we all knew she'd love to be there. We took (or at least tried) to take a family pic. I have yet to upload it... (will do soon!) but u'd be amazed how many of us were there in the hall! Quite a crowd...

OF COURSE they all went on a durian hunt while i stayed back in my Amma's house. I swear that night while playing cards and drinking, the farts and burps were absolutely horrendous! *fainted* Even my 4 year old nephew/godson and 1.5 year old niece love durians!! Bloody hell...minus points those two! :p They're too young to read this so they'll still think their FAVE aunt loves them to bits! *Reminder : to delete this post in a few years, just in case!*

We played Taboo and Pictionary as well...in the hotel. I was surprised the security didn't come to our room. And although i still find it hard to believe, i kinda admit that i have no talent whatsoever in drawing. Sigh. Yes, i finally got a flaw. HA HA HA!

Here's the story - when i was in primary school, maybe 10 years old or so.... i was chosen to represent my school in Port Dickson for an art competition. Surely that means something, right? So my dad bought me a new set (actually my first set!) of crayons and i excitedly (and i must say confidently) went for the competition in Chung Hwa School PD.

It was then ...after i completed my drawing, proudly admiring my simple small house, one big tree and 3 people (bigger than the house, i remember!) and then started looking around at fellow 'competitors' that i realised they had super beautiful, almost real drawings..while mine didnt make sense! I mean, my 3 people could not possibly fit into their own home!!!!!!!!

Ok ok, so i left a VERY important detail out...sheshh!

My godmother was the headmistress of my primary school. Ok? Happy???????? Sheshhh...

Oh fine! And my godfather was looking after the stationery shop there as well. *blush* I think i felt like Robin Hood back then because i used to ask all my classmates if they needed anything (pen, books, ruler, whatever) and i will go see my godfather.

The wonderful man would just pass me anything i wanted (even like 10 books, 5 pencils, 3 rulers!!!!) for free! God bless his soul! Awww..... he passed away two years later when i turned 12. I remember him - gentle, kind and very loving. The one and only godfather i'd ever want and ever will have.

And even when i've recently been told of his story, the beautiful memories of him surpasses them all. I mean, everyone has a story right? We've done and will/might do some stuff that we would not be proud of.... But let's not focus on that right now, shall we?

Here's to beautiful memories. :)

Last night i saw you in my dreams....

Last night i saw you in my dreams....
Now i can't wait to get back to sleep......

*melted*

(...from a song by Kanye)

Thank God it is Thursday!!!

I am so glad it is Thursday!

This week has been crazy, hasn't it? I mean, all those hours spent in the car. As it is, fuel price has gone up significantly! Jeez....

Anyway, after my assignment this evening, i am off work till Tuesday so i am sooo looking forward to the short break. It's definitely gonna be a binge weekend with my family - they shall have their durians (ugh!) and hopefully i will find some mangosteens to keep me company! :)

We'll also meet up with my grandmother and cousins in Penang for dinner and picnic, so that would be good. I think it's gonna be a bit more chaotic than i would prefer, but hey.... let's just embrace these moments ya?

Expose momento!!

My colleague told me yesterday about the Fish spas here. I mean, it's been mushrooming all around town and well, almost throughout the country. I heard there's one in Seremban and Penang, etc. Well, apparently, it costs RM300K to set up one Dr Fish Spa thingy. And out of the hundreds of outlets, only ONE outlet is using the correct Dr Fish!!! The rest are mixing the right fish with talapias!!!!!! Can u bloody believe that?

It is so irritating right? I mean..we pay RM38 for 30 mins or something like that...and for what?

I believe in karma.... what goes around, comes around.

Till then, have a fabulous weekend!

Que preciosa es la vida

How precious life is...

I received an e-mail from my host sister last Thursday. You see...i spent a year living with a family in South America and they treat me like their own family and i, in turn, call them papa, mama and i have additional 3 sisters (on top of my original 2!). :)

Anyway, my host sister there informed me that papa had a heart attack and is currently in ICU. I just read another e-mail from her saying he was going thru a major surgery last Friday and now there's no more news. His heart isn't working the way it should.

The rest might sound a little cliche, i know, but who cares...

You should see how my host parents are - South Americans are mostly very warm, expressive and passionate. You can feel the warmth... the way they greet, the way they express themselves - talk and laugh. Watching my host parents together always blows me away. They must be in their 60s now, but just observing them, you could feel the love. Not like typical old couples - some are miserable but just 'surviving', some cold...of course, i am just generalising right now.

Anyway, i actually went to church last Saturday - sunset mass. I know.... i can't even remember when i last went for mass. Christmas maybe? Ohhh....it was for my grandaunt's funeral. For many years (maybe last 3-4 years), i chose not to go regularly to church. Somewhere along the line, i felt it was hypocritical for me to attend mass and i guess in a big way, i felt ashamed (loss sense of worth) due to my wrongdoings.

This time i sat quietly outside the church (arrived late, so it was overcrowded) and midway through the readings and sermons, i got lost in my own thoughts. I felt the urge to pray for my papa - and mama - and how such a beautiful soul deserves only love and happiness, NO suffering! How i hope he pulls through somehow and recovers. I am still anxiously waiting for news from them.

I haven't seen them in more than 10 years but each time we talk on the phone or via Yahoo, they would cry, i would cry....all expressing how much we miss each other. Spending my one year (one of the bestest years of my life still), i learnt more about myself and i only just realised that i would like to rediscover the 17 year old me again. Full of hope and excitement for life.... with rose tinted glasses! :)

Silly me but i got all teary a couple of times in church. Oh my mum would be so proud if she knew... but let's not get her tooo excited, shall we? :D

I choose to be an adventurer

I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how i view my life.

Eleven minutes

That's all it takes, it seems. Or so Paulo Coelho says. Well, i am reading the book for the second time. *blush*

Maria is such a smart woman. I love her thoughts...

1) Love is not to be found in others, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do so, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.

2) In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.

The true experience of freedom : having the most important thing in the world without owning it.

3) I'm not a body with a soul. I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.....

I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.

4) i can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's a question of how i view my life.

5) Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.

6) And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.

Avalancha

One of my favouritestestestest ...EVER! *sniff*

Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)

No quiero que el mundo se mueva mas (i don't want the world to move anymore)

Quisiera congelarlo (i wanna freeze it)

Guardarlo para siempre (keep it safe forever)

Asi nunca te perderia (that way i will never lose you)

Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)

Siento colores brillando (i feel bright colours)

Yo los claros (mine the clears ones)

Y tu los oscuros (yours are the darker ones)

Se mezclan y me pierdo en ti (all are mixed and i am lost in you)

De repente me consume una ola (again i am lost in a wave)

De verdadera inseguridad (the truth is insecurity)

El amor que me abraza se disipa (the love i embraced disappeared)

Y me quedo sola sin ti (and i am left alone without you)

Si hay calma antes de la tormenta (if there's calm before the storm)

Temo que estamos cerca del final (i'm afraid we're close to the end)

Trato de entender en tus palabras (i am trying to understand your words)

Si es que vas a huir de aqui (if you are leaving here)

Como vas a huir de aqui (how are you leaving here?)

Como vas a dejarme asi (how can you leave me like this?)

Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)

Me llena una incertidumbre (i am filled with an uncertainty)

Me creerias (and i believe)

Si yo te dijera (if i could tell you)

Esta locura es solo por ti (this madness is only for you)

If all fails...

I always joke around and say 'If all fails, at least i can do....' --- > and it all depends on what i was doing well at the moment.

For example, this afternoon while going downstairs for lunch with my colleague, and i found myself holding the lift for the 'whole world'!! So it was then that i told my colleague "If all fails, at least i can be a lift operator". Let's see --- have more options now - lift operator, Starbucks barrista (as i love making cafe lattes - i know....so lame and sick!), bouncer (experienced during the recent property forum), housewife (cooking a storm for parties 2-3 times a year counts?! Right?), etc...

Well, it's nice to have choices, no?

Last night while i was in the car on my way back from Seremban (AGAIN!!! i went there like 3 times since last Saturday!), my sister asked me what immediate future plans were. I wish it was all that simple.... so i just told her casually what i thought and then kept staring out the window. Lucky it was pitch black and me all teary was not so obvious.

I do have options, choices... it's just a matter of which direction i want to head to.

Isn't the unknown a little intimidating?

I have always been able to take the plunge and jump head-on to new adventures, new work, new cultures.... open to trying new things and facing challenges. But this one thing...this ONE thing.... makes me scared. *half smile*

Well, surely the only way to go now is -----> to just bloody do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D