Many a times i think of blogging here about what's on my mind, etc....but i either find excuses or something else to do. Somehow i feel restrained from blogging how i truly feel right now. It's difficult to put words to these feelings i am experiencing. So what do i do? I focus out. :)
Anyway, isn't it funny (OF COURSE NOT!) when the person you want to forget keeps appearing everywhere? Same cars everywhere, same bloody names and even in my dreams! Seriously.... sheshhh.
There are good days and not-so-good days. Today is one of the not-so-good days. I hope he is happy and content. My J.
I just miss him very very much. Just today....
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
To make you feel my love
You know the feeling you feel there's still to much you really wanna tell someone, but....well....at the moment, i am absolutely IN LOVE with so many songs. Songs that seem to know what i am so feeling right now.
One of the good things about living far away from my work place is the fact that i can enjoy good music in my car while driving home. When i used to live 5 minutes away from my office, it would take me a few songs and a stick of cig to get me home. Now...better not count. :D
One of my fave songs now... Awww...
MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - by Adele
When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
One of the good things about living far away from my work place is the fact that i can enjoy good music in my car while driving home. When i used to live 5 minutes away from my office, it would take me a few songs and a stick of cig to get me home. Now...better not count. :D
One of my fave songs now... Awww...
MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - by Adele
When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My random 25
1) Some years ago I called up the radio station (traffic phone ranger) telling them that I see a horse (yes, an actual full grown horse!) galloping towards my car along the road to Hartamas (near KLGCC). I kid you not!!!! I was in my cute little Kelisa then. Pretty scary shit! Perhaps the horse thought it was heading for ‘greener pastures’. Instead it headed towards the flyover to Kerinchi Link.
2) I am stubborn. Very stubborn. Apparently since really young…surprise! Surprise! When I was 5, my parents paid the whole year fees for a private kindergarten in Port Dickson. After a week, I refused to go there as I was so bored colouring my days away. I then joined the almost-free Kemas kindergarten and had a blast! J
3) 85% of my clothes are black. Ok, maybe 91.5%. Surprised? And that ONE day I wear a white floral dress, I got my period and stained it. What is the universe telling me, right??? Seriously.
4) I am told repeatedly to just smile, lift my shoulders, look down shyly and shuddup when ppl try to flirt with me. Apparently, I am not so good at flirting back/comebacks. Once a kinda cute guy I was checking out at the club came up to me holding a glass of water and asked if he could flirt with me the next time we meet. To which I replied: “Drink your water lah!” What can I say? Sigh.
5) I learnt many years ago to always wear presentable, nice panties. No more hole-y ones, I say! Why? It was during a team building session with my LP7 team. After doing the whole works – climbing the pole, flying fox, over the wall – I then realised the ‘cool’ feeling was from my fully torn track bottom. Goodbye comfy, hole-y panties! :S
6) My close friends say I am commitment phobic. Perhaps I am. I am working on it, a constant WIP.
7) I am a pervert…...There, I’ve said it.
8) A curious child à Or so I was called by a good friend. Well, curiousity killed the damn cat! I was so curious, I went to watch an orgy once. WATCH, people….WATCH!!! Enuff said. End of the story. lips sealed
9) Once, I told my cute neighbour it was my birthday (it really wasn’t!) and he went back and baked a cake for me immediately. Man, did I feel real bad. People take me too seriously most of the time. Must be my poker face.
10) I reversed my then-new car and hit my ex-neighbour’s car. Twice. It is not my fault. I can’t help it if my car’s ass is too high. Baddd Proton! I guess it’s good I moved out 6 months ago. Blink
11) You know the escalators with signs telling u to not stand too close to the side and stand within the yellow box? Well, they didn’t have that till recently. I remember walking in Sunway Pyramid with my cousin wearing my favourite long Laura Ashley skirt. Stretchable material. It got stuck. Panic all around while I kept holding on to my skirt (kudos to Laura Ashley, it just kept stretching!), some guy pressed on the emergency button to stop the escalator…. After like forever, I managed to tear the bottom of my skirt. There was nothing else I could do. Sniff.
12) I can’t draw to save my life. I realised it when I was 12. I represented my school for a drawing competition (I shall reluctantly state that my godmother was our school principal then), so there I was at Chung Hwa with my new set of crayons. Real proud. Drew one house, one tree and a couple who were too big for their house. I then looked around and saw almost life-like drawings from other participants. I realised then and there. Pictionary, anyone?
13) So I smoke. But I have set the date, May 15, to quit smoking. Till then, so long suckerssss!!!
14) DNR – Do not resusitate. That’s my choice, as I’d rather die than live on life support machines. Am also a registered organ donor.
15) “It is better to regret something you have done, rather than to regret something you have NOT done” --- It’s my fave motto. But it has gotten me into trouble a few times, as well. But hey, it was worth the experience. Err no?
16) I hate durians – HATE. Used to be able to take 1-2 pieces. Stayed with orang asli @ Negeri Sembilan and it was during durian season. :S We had durian rice, durian soup, durian..durian…durian. And the not-so-private toilet was at the base of the waterfall. I did not DO IT for 4 days. (for perverts, IT meant shit)
17) Got seriously sunburnt while holidaying in Bali. It was seriously painful – I was dark red and burning with water bubbles!! My lovely non-supportive friends (you know who you are!!) had a field. I was walking real slowly towards the departure lounge at Ngurah Rai Airport, they walked past me, talking loudly while looking pointedly at me: “Ohmygod. Look at her. So terrible la!”. Hence the ‘virginic layer of skin’ tag from Mursh too. Note to self : Need to find me a new set of nice friends. Hmphh!
18) I always have three sets of different shampoo/conditioner in my bathroom. Need the variety. Can’t be using the same one over and over and over again. Right? blush
19) I had the BEST-ever, almost orgasmic green mango juice and cheese baked mussels in the Philippines. I will never, ever get over it. I plan to go there again..
20) When I turned 18, I realised could finally buy 4D. Bought 2808 and got RM118. Woo hooo! The excitement! Haven’t won much since tho…hmm.
21) I drove into Singapore once without the damn pass for my car. The customs officer told me to drive straight and turn left to buy the pass (like a permit to drive into Singapore). I drove straight INTO Woodlands, Singapore. Did not see the damn office. Drove out 2 days later and got fucked. Wasn’t so funny then.
22) I cry watching commercials. Esp those festive ones from Petronas, TM, etc. I cry watching inspiring people do inspiring stuff. I cry watching Oprah Winfrey. I. Cry. Period.
23) When I was 5 or 6, I swore my uncle was Kenny Rogers! I was 3000% sure and thought Uncle Eric from UK was his undercover name. They so looked alike, ok? I confronted him and even then, I was like 5000% sure. Well, he isn’t. Damn.
24) Got dengue yearss ago. It was hell. Thought I was gonna die…panicked. My eldest sister (very drama) created a big fuss, cried in her office and her boss let her off work before lunch. She went straight home and SLEPT. Sigh. She MAY HAVE visited me later that night. I don’t remember.
25) I try to live life by the rules, but sometimes rules suck! Ugh.
Boy, am I glad I have finally reached No.25. Would still want to appear mysterious. Can’t reveal everything all at once la. Just the tip of the iceberg, I say! :D
2) I am stubborn. Very stubborn. Apparently since really young…surprise! Surprise! When I was 5, my parents paid the whole year fees for a private kindergarten in Port Dickson. After a week, I refused to go there as I was so bored colouring my days away. I then joined the almost-free Kemas kindergarten and had a blast! J
3) 85% of my clothes are black. Ok, maybe 91.5%. Surprised? And that ONE day I wear a white floral dress, I got my period and stained it. What is the universe telling me, right??? Seriously.
4) I am told repeatedly to just smile, lift my shoulders, look down shyly and shuddup when ppl try to flirt with me. Apparently, I am not so good at flirting back/comebacks. Once a kinda cute guy I was checking out at the club came up to me holding a glass of water and asked if he could flirt with me the next time we meet. To which I replied: “Drink your water lah!” What can I say? Sigh.
5) I learnt many years ago to always wear presentable, nice panties. No more hole-y ones, I say! Why? It was during a team building session with my LP7 team. After doing the whole works – climbing the pole, flying fox, over the wall – I then realised the ‘cool’ feeling was from my fully torn track bottom. Goodbye comfy, hole-y panties! :S
6) My close friends say I am commitment phobic. Perhaps I am. I am working on it, a constant WIP.
7) I am a pervert…...There, I’ve said it.
8) A curious child à Or so I was called by a good friend. Well, curiousity killed the damn cat! I was so curious, I went to watch an orgy once. WATCH, people….WATCH!!! Enuff said. End of the story. lips sealed
9) Once, I told my cute neighbour it was my birthday (it really wasn’t!) and he went back and baked a cake for me immediately. Man, did I feel real bad. People take me too seriously most of the time. Must be my poker face.
10) I reversed my then-new car and hit my ex-neighbour’s car. Twice. It is not my fault. I can’t help it if my car’s ass is too high. Baddd Proton! I guess it’s good I moved out 6 months ago. Blink
11) You know the escalators with signs telling u to not stand too close to the side and stand within the yellow box? Well, they didn’t have that till recently. I remember walking in Sunway Pyramid with my cousin wearing my favourite long Laura Ashley skirt. Stretchable material. It got stuck. Panic all around while I kept holding on to my skirt (kudos to Laura Ashley, it just kept stretching!), some guy pressed on the emergency button to stop the escalator…. After like forever, I managed to tear the bottom of my skirt. There was nothing else I could do. Sniff.
12) I can’t draw to save my life. I realised it when I was 12. I represented my school for a drawing competition (I shall reluctantly state that my godmother was our school principal then), so there I was at Chung Hwa with my new set of crayons. Real proud. Drew one house, one tree and a couple who were too big for their house. I then looked around and saw almost life-like drawings from other participants. I realised then and there. Pictionary, anyone?
13) So I smoke. But I have set the date, May 15, to quit smoking. Till then, so long suckerssss!!!
14) DNR – Do not resusitate. That’s my choice, as I’d rather die than live on life support machines. Am also a registered organ donor.
15) “It is better to regret something you have done, rather than to regret something you have NOT done” --- It’s my fave motto. But it has gotten me into trouble a few times, as well. But hey, it was worth the experience. Err no?
16) I hate durians – HATE. Used to be able to take 1-2 pieces. Stayed with orang asli @ Negeri Sembilan and it was during durian season. :S We had durian rice, durian soup, durian..durian…durian. And the not-so-private toilet was at the base of the waterfall. I did not DO IT for 4 days. (for perverts, IT meant shit)
17) Got seriously sunburnt while holidaying in Bali. It was seriously painful – I was dark red and burning with water bubbles!! My lovely non-supportive friends (you know who you are!!) had a field. I was walking real slowly towards the departure lounge at Ngurah Rai Airport, they walked past me, talking loudly while looking pointedly at me: “Ohmygod. Look at her. So terrible la!”. Hence the ‘virginic layer of skin’ tag from Mursh too. Note to self : Need to find me a new set of nice friends. Hmphh!
18) I always have three sets of different shampoo/conditioner in my bathroom. Need the variety. Can’t be using the same one over and over and over again. Right? blush
19) I had the BEST-ever, almost orgasmic green mango juice and cheese baked mussels in the Philippines. I will never, ever get over it. I plan to go there again..
20) When I turned 18, I realised could finally buy 4D. Bought 2808 and got RM118. Woo hooo! The excitement! Haven’t won much since tho…hmm.
21) I drove into Singapore once without the damn pass for my car. The customs officer told me to drive straight and turn left to buy the pass (like a permit to drive into Singapore). I drove straight INTO Woodlands, Singapore. Did not see the damn office. Drove out 2 days later and got fucked. Wasn’t so funny then.
22) I cry watching commercials. Esp those festive ones from Petronas, TM, etc. I cry watching inspiring people do inspiring stuff. I cry watching Oprah Winfrey. I. Cry. Period.
23) When I was 5 or 6, I swore my uncle was Kenny Rogers! I was 3000% sure and thought Uncle Eric from UK was his undercover name. They so looked alike, ok? I confronted him and even then, I was like 5000% sure. Well, he isn’t. Damn.
24) Got dengue yearss ago. It was hell. Thought I was gonna die…panicked. My eldest sister (very drama) created a big fuss, cried in her office and her boss let her off work before lunch. She went straight home and SLEPT. Sigh. She MAY HAVE visited me later that night. I don’t remember.
25) I try to live life by the rules, but sometimes rules suck! Ugh.
Boy, am I glad I have finally reached No.25. Would still want to appear mysterious. Can’t reveal everything all at once la. Just the tip of the iceberg, I say! :D
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Uncle Hainanese
Been wanting to write this post since a week ago. Since it's pretty quiet in the office (a.k.a still in holiday mode), finally here i am.
Last week, after an assignment, i decided to head to what 'this used to be my playground' Damansara Jaya for lunch. I realised i have not been to my fave Uncle Hainanese restaurant near Atria. It is not that the chicken rice there was the best...it was for old times sake and well, haven't spoken to 'uncle' for a loooong while.
The restaurant was the same. Well, almost. Been going there since i was 15,16. Uncle would always greet us with a big HELLO and warm smile. After a while, we went there out of loyalty. Last week, i entered and it was pure silence. I looked around and young guy came up to me to take my order. Unable to hold on to my thoughts, i had to ask him, "Where is uncle?" while getting ready for bad news. He said uncle has retired to look after his grandchild. What a relief!
I had my usual Hainanese chicken rice and taugeh, feeling all nostalgic about the place and knowing that it will never be the same. I doubt i'll be going there as often anymore. No more uncle.
Last year, i gave him some fruits and he gave me an angpow. Aww. And a few years back, when i went there during the fasting month, i remember him having a troubled look while taking my order. He then asked, "You tak puasa ah?". To which i answered," Uncle!! After all these years you think i am Malay??". Quite funny, really.
So that is the story of me and my uncle Hainanese. He's a good man and i hope the best for him - in health and happiness.
The end of another chapter. It is time to move on.... just like many other things in life.
Last week, after an assignment, i decided to head to what 'this used to be my playground' Damansara Jaya for lunch. I realised i have not been to my fave Uncle Hainanese restaurant near Atria. It is not that the chicken rice there was the best...it was for old times sake and well, haven't spoken to 'uncle' for a loooong while.
The restaurant was the same. Well, almost. Been going there since i was 15,16. Uncle would always greet us with a big HELLO and warm smile. After a while, we went there out of loyalty. Last week, i entered and it was pure silence. I looked around and young guy came up to me to take my order. Unable to hold on to my thoughts, i had to ask him, "Where is uncle?" while getting ready for bad news. He said uncle has retired to look after his grandchild. What a relief!
I had my usual Hainanese chicken rice and taugeh, feeling all nostalgic about the place and knowing that it will never be the same. I doubt i'll be going there as often anymore. No more uncle.
Last year, i gave him some fruits and he gave me an angpow. Aww. And a few years back, when i went there during the fasting month, i remember him having a troubled look while taking my order. He then asked, "You tak puasa ah?". To which i answered," Uncle!! After all these years you think i am Malay??". Quite funny, really.
So that is the story of me and my uncle Hainanese. He's a good man and i hope the best for him - in health and happiness.
The end of another chapter. It is time to move on.... just like many other things in life.
Monday, January 5, 2009
The best way you know how
Been reading this particular book and found some parts interesting......
In an age where the pursuit of happiness seems the only moral code, what do you do when your life falls short of your dreams? Is there wisdom to be learnt from the sacrifices commitment entails? Or is there something in the notion of compatibility that we tend to overlook?
Some thoughts that created ' wows' for me :
a) If you are going to BE with me, then BE with me. BE present. Be here and NOW and stop holding out for something better to come along because it never will. You're waiting for some flawless handsome stranger to come satisfy all your dreams but not your real life. It's an illusion for people who would nurture a romantic narcassism than love real flawed people like you and me. If only you would accept it, your ordinariness. Not every compromise is a resignation, you know, and it's not easy, it's the hardest thing in the world, but at some point you're gonna have to give yourself up or you'll spend the rest of your life alone - by Forster
b) Choosing monogamy is not, of course, choosing not to desire anyone other than one's partner; it is choosing not to do anything that violates one's idea of monogamy. Everyone flirts with their (mostly conscious) standards of fidelity. But one is only ever faithful to fidelity itself, never merely one's partner - Monogamy by Adam Philips
c) Marriage should be the protection of two solitudes - getting married doesn't have to deprive us of our freedom or independence. It'll just be something that makes us stronger. Going out into the world is just so much easier when you've got someone to come back to.
d) Love isn't something you can reason, but something inchoate, indescribable. Captured in the details that haunt a moment and linger on the body. Evaporate like steam when you try to hold on to them.
And the story continues......
In an age where the pursuit of happiness seems the only moral code, what do you do when your life falls short of your dreams? Is there wisdom to be learnt from the sacrifices commitment entails? Or is there something in the notion of compatibility that we tend to overlook?
Some thoughts that created ' wows' for me :
a) If you are going to BE with me, then BE with me. BE present. Be here and NOW and stop holding out for something better to come along because it never will. You're waiting for some flawless handsome stranger to come satisfy all your dreams but not your real life. It's an illusion for people who would nurture a romantic narcassism than love real flawed people like you and me. If only you would accept it, your ordinariness. Not every compromise is a resignation, you know, and it's not easy, it's the hardest thing in the world, but at some point you're gonna have to give yourself up or you'll spend the rest of your life alone - by Forster
b) Choosing monogamy is not, of course, choosing not to desire anyone other than one's partner; it is choosing not to do anything that violates one's idea of monogamy. Everyone flirts with their (mostly conscious) standards of fidelity. But one is only ever faithful to fidelity itself, never merely one's partner - Monogamy by Adam Philips
c) Marriage should be the protection of two solitudes - getting married doesn't have to deprive us of our freedom or independence. It'll just be something that makes us stronger. Going out into the world is just so much easier when you've got someone to come back to.
d) Love isn't something you can reason, but something inchoate, indescribable. Captured in the details that haunt a moment and linger on the body. Evaporate like steam when you try to hold on to them.
And the story continues......
Thursday, January 1, 2009
All i got for Christmas is..... a new ass!
So my holiday started on Dec 24, 2008. Had it all nicely planned - to go early to Seremban to hang out with my parents and brothers, etc. But come Dec 23 morning, as i was leaving One Utama after dropping off some books i was reviewing, a Citroen hit my car from the back. Sigh.
Anyway, to cut the long drama story short --- i got a new bumper. Spent the whole day sorting out the repairs + police reports, but drove to Seremban on Dec 24 with a new ass. :D
New Year's party this year was slightly tame compared to the past years...but all in good fun. Here's to a fabulous year ahead.....finding our bliss!!! Yeay!!!
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