Packing....

I spent last night clearing stuff in my room - throwing away and packing what i need.

I came across old photos, letters, journals so it took me hours as i sneezed my way through the old memories. Plane tickets, receipts, countless letters, cards i never managed to pass on, journals -- what shall i do with them all? I ripped the old letters and plan to burn the journals real soon. Some things are better left as that - memories.

And i found a fantastic phrase -- i ripped the paper last night and will post the phrase here soon. About how nothing is lost --- no matter what. Along those lines la.

I get a little panicky now when i think about Saturday - that's when Operasi 'Move Out' happens. I have decided to leave my things at a friend's and live out of a suitcase for a month or so.

Why? I have big decisions to make for myself......


'When you love someone so deeply they become your life,
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside,
Blindly i imagined i could keep you under glass,
Now i understand to hold you i must open my hands
And watch you rise

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage to be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will lead you back to me when you're ready to land

I can't pretend these tears aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly