It is time to walk away and leave the past behind. It is time, indeed.
Where am i heading to? The unknown, really, but i am ready.
Bring it on!!!!!!!!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Walking away...
It is time to walk away and leave the past behind. It is time, indeed.
Where am i heading to? The unknown, really, but i am ready.
Bring it on!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
ENOUGH!
I have paid my dues....twice over!
I think it is ENOUGH, or even more than i deserve. I have paid my dues.
Please just let me be.
I want to just BE.
Please. Please. Please
....how many times can i break till i shatter?...
I think it is ENOUGH, or even more than i deserve. I have paid my dues.
Please just let me be.
I want to just BE.
Please. Please. Please
....how many times can i break till i shatter?...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Our hard drive??!???
I went to watch one of Harith's show last year.
It was such a blast! He talked about how women's brains are full of folders (history from years and years ago) all nicely tucked in some corner and bloody 'packed' whereas men's brains are somewhat empty as they don't really bother with useless facts and incidents and their main focus is admiring beautiful women and food! I had such a laugh cuz it's soo true....
Funny thing is, my memory isn't too great either. Tho i admit to having some 'folders', i tend to remember the better memories. Or so i try... *fingers crossed*
So girls, let's just send the useless facts to the recycle bin and make loads of space for admiring beautiful men and making more great memories! *mischievious laugh*
Here's to making many, many more yummy memories......have fun!
It was such a blast! He talked about how women's brains are full of folders (history from years and years ago) all nicely tucked in some corner and bloody 'packed' whereas men's brains are somewhat empty as they don't really bother with useless facts and incidents and their main focus is admiring beautiful women and food! I had such a laugh cuz it's soo true....
Funny thing is, my memory isn't too great either. Tho i admit to having some 'folders', i tend to remember the better memories. Or so i try... *fingers crossed*
So girls, let's just send the useless facts to the recycle bin and make loads of space for admiring beautiful men and making more great memories! *mischievious laugh*
Here's to making many, many more yummy memories......have fun!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
VIrgo is me
VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I choose to be an adventurer, not a victim
I wrote this post months ago....
Eleven minutes
That's all it takes, it seems. Or so Paulo Coelho says. Well, i am reading the book for the second time. *blush*
Maria is such a smart woman. I love her thoughts... and my FAVE quote is "I can choose to either be a victim of the world, or an adventurer in search of treasure. It is a question of how i view my life."
Other beautiful quotes from the book:
1) Love is not to be found in others, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do so, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
2) In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
The true experience of freedom : having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
3) I'm not a body with a soul. I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.....
I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.
4) i can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's a question of how i view my life.
5) Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.
6) And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
Maria is such a smart woman. I love her thoughts... and my FAVE quote is "I can choose to either be a victim of the world, or an adventurer in search of treasure. It is a question of how i view my life."
Other beautiful quotes from the book:
1) Love is not to be found in others, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do so, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
2) In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
The true experience of freedom : having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
3) I'm not a body with a soul. I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.....
I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.
4) i can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's a question of how i view my life.
5) Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.
6) And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Who?????
I have always been particular (or least i'd like to think so) when it comes to spelling ppl's names. I mean, i really appreciate it when my name is spelt properly. Shows you how they took the time and effort to make sure it is spelt correctly.
I made a big boo boo (to my surprise, really!) in one of my articles some time ago..... poor dude i interviewed. Ong and i wrote it, and was therefore published, as Wong. I still feel bad about it till now. So horrible of me. Ugh. So now i am a lot more careful. :)
Anyway, my name has been wrongly spelt all sorts of ways but never...NEVER EVER this way! Ha ha ha.... so funny!
Ms. Lojlin
I made a big boo boo (to my surprise, really!) in one of my articles some time ago..... poor dude i interviewed. Ong and i wrote it, and was therefore published, as Wong. I still feel bad about it till now. So horrible of me. Ugh. So now i am a lot more careful. :)
Anyway, my name has been wrongly spelt all sorts of ways but never...NEVER EVER this way! Ha ha ha.... so funny!
Ms. Lojlin
Breathtaking view
Hmmm...... can you imagine the cool, crisp air first thing in the morning?
I absolutely LOVE this place! And it's only an hour awayyyy...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Estrella
Went to work extra early on Friday. Amazing.
Came home, went for a swim.
Then bought my fave Ramlee burger and sat at the garden.
Looking up to the sky, i asked, "When will there be stars?"
Estrella = star
Came home, went for a swim.
Then bought my fave Ramlee burger and sat at the garden.
Looking up to the sky, i asked, "When will there be stars?"
Estrella = star
Friday, September 26, 2008
A piece of me
Note : I wrote this in July 2008. Kept it as a draft all this while...
Feliz Cumpleanos! (Happy birthday!)
July 24 was my mummy’s birthday! She turned 65, but still looks REAL good for her age. Surely this is a great sign for moi, no? *fingers crossed* He he…
I had a lot of issues with my mum while growing up – most of the time I was verrry angry with her. Angry with her for what little memories I had when I was young, angry with her for leaving us twice, angry with her for what she did to my dad, angry with her for not letting us get to know her mother while she was alive, etc… the list is endless, really.
So, basically, I was a happy and busy child, but with lots of anger inside. I spent every day playing hockey and tennis and whatever that would keep away from home. There’s just so much I was feeling and mostly from what people told me, not what I remember. Actually I do not have much memories of childhood, which puzzles me. Weird.
Many things that happened would explain my fierce loyalty to my dad throughout my childhood till early adulthood. Moments when i wondered why he'd do that or put up with that? Or why did she do the things she did.... Now, i understand. I really, really do. Everyone sacrificed a part of themselves when they chose to commit. Anyways, this was my ‘light bulb’ moment quite recently. I do wish to remain a little mysterious so I choose not to go into much details here. Only a few of my real good friends know this.
Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because….… Time does pass super fast and I would like to share this. Hopefully, it will make a difference in any way.. no matter how small.
Few years ago, I had an epiphany. (i love this word - epiphany!)
Kids never think of their parents as anyone other than their parents. I used to think my dad knew ALL the answers to my questions. I could ask him any English word and he’d tell me the meaning almost immediately. Genius, I thought!
I expected them to be no one else but my parents – how parents should behave, focus attention only on work and children, buy our school supplies and uniforms, cook us dinner, us us us…all about us, etc. I think it’s a quite typical from any child.
Then as I grow older, I realize that parents are INDIVIDUALs first, and then they became parents (yet ANOTHER ‘light bulb moment’). We tend to forget that. We easily forget that they are individuals first before they became our parents. It’s easy to think that parents should behave in a certain way, work to provide us with support, food, education or whatever else just because they are our parents. And that’s it. Quite selfish, if you come to think about it, huh?
Everyone has a story to tell…… now that I understand them both a little better, I realised my wasted energy. Feeling angry for so long. I have learnt to ‘Live and let live’. And I look forward to spending time with my parents, and listen to their life experiences. Quite colourful, if I may add. Ha…
Since my ‘epiphany’, I have been sharing this thought of mine with many of my close friends. I think that we should just let them be, let them do what they want to do. As long as they’re doing what they wanna do and what makes them happy. My parents have been living apart for many years, though not divorced. They get along MUCH better apart.
I used to live with dad for many years, sometimes I felt like I was his 'wife'…. Looking out for him, making sure everything was ok. I have to admit I sometimes got irritated, wondering why do I have to do this instead of my own mother who is living in a different state. But the time spent is precious to me. We recently gave up the house we lived in for the past 15 years, he moved to Seremban while i am temporarily staying @ my sister's place before i decide on my next big move.
Funnily enough, now my parents are living ‘together’ – side by side (two separate houses) in Seremban. It’s quite amusing, really. I try to make it back one weekend every month and they get pretty ‘lively’ most of the time. More like arguing most of the time.
Even though I am the youngest in my family, I find myself being the moderator. One would complain about the other, and vice versa. And I have to ‘scold’ both of them. Seriously, I think they enjoy getting ‘told off’. Not in a rude way, of course. Kena slap la if rude!
And I love them both so much. And you know what? I would NOT change a single thing!
Feliz Cumpleanos! (Happy birthday!)
July 24 was my mummy’s birthday! She turned 65, but still looks REAL good for her age. Surely this is a great sign for moi, no? *fingers crossed* He he…
I had a lot of issues with my mum while growing up – most of the time I was verrry angry with her. Angry with her for what little memories I had when I was young, angry with her for leaving us twice, angry with her for what she did to my dad, angry with her for not letting us get to know her mother while she was alive, etc… the list is endless, really.
So, basically, I was a happy and busy child, but with lots of anger inside. I spent every day playing hockey and tennis and whatever that would keep away from home. There’s just so much I was feeling and mostly from what people told me, not what I remember. Actually I do not have much memories of childhood, which puzzles me. Weird.
Many things that happened would explain my fierce loyalty to my dad throughout my childhood till early adulthood. Moments when i wondered why he'd do that or put up with that? Or why did she do the things she did.... Now, i understand. I really, really do. Everyone sacrificed a part of themselves when they chose to commit. Anyways, this was my ‘light bulb’ moment quite recently. I do wish to remain a little mysterious so I choose not to go into much details here. Only a few of my real good friends know this.
Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because….… Time does pass super fast and I would like to share this. Hopefully, it will make a difference in any way.. no matter how small.
Few years ago, I had an epiphany. (i love this word - epiphany!)
Kids never think of their parents as anyone other than their parents. I used to think my dad knew ALL the answers to my questions. I could ask him any English word and he’d tell me the meaning almost immediately. Genius, I thought!
I expected them to be no one else but my parents – how parents should behave, focus attention only on work and children, buy our school supplies and uniforms, cook us dinner, us us us…all about us, etc. I think it’s a quite typical from any child.
Then as I grow older, I realize that parents are INDIVIDUALs first, and then they became parents (yet ANOTHER ‘light bulb moment’). We tend to forget that. We easily forget that they are individuals first before they became our parents. It’s easy to think that parents should behave in a certain way, work to provide us with support, food, education or whatever else just because they are our parents. And that’s it. Quite selfish, if you come to think about it, huh?
Everyone has a story to tell…… now that I understand them both a little better, I realised my wasted energy. Feeling angry for so long. I have learnt to ‘Live and let live’. And I look forward to spending time with my parents, and listen to their life experiences. Quite colourful, if I may add. Ha…
Since my ‘epiphany’, I have been sharing this thought of mine with many of my close friends. I think that we should just let them be, let them do what they want to do. As long as they’re doing what they wanna do and what makes them happy. My parents have been living apart for many years, though not divorced. They get along MUCH better apart.
I used to live with dad for many years, sometimes I felt like I was his 'wife'…. Looking out for him, making sure everything was ok. I have to admit I sometimes got irritated, wondering why do I have to do this instead of my own mother who is living in a different state. But the time spent is precious to me. We recently gave up the house we lived in for the past 15 years, he moved to Seremban while i am temporarily staying @ my sister's place before i decide on my next big move.
Funnily enough, now my parents are living ‘together’ – side by side (two separate houses) in Seremban. It’s quite amusing, really. I try to make it back one weekend every month and they get pretty ‘lively’ most of the time. More like arguing most of the time.
Even though I am the youngest in my family, I find myself being the moderator. One would complain about the other, and vice versa. And I have to ‘scold’ both of them. Seriously, I think they enjoy getting ‘told off’. Not in a rude way, of course. Kena slap la if rude!
And I love them both so much. And you know what? I would NOT change a single thing!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Sore ass
It's Saturday night, 10.47pm.
It's been manyyyyyy years since i rode a bicycle and i was a bit unsteady at first. And man, did my ass hurt!!!! There really should be nicely padded, bigger bicycle seats. I mean, it's so necessary. I wonder how serious cyclists do it? Don't their balls get crushed or something??? Lucky i had a pad on (anticipating PMS) which was a sorta nice 'cushion' for my ve-jay-jay (as how Nazi on Grey's Anatomy calls it). *Blush*
It's been an exciting day Saturday. Went to Bukit Cahaya / Bukit Cerakah / Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. This outing was planned about 2 weeks ago and we went there around 7am. Yes, all excited especially when we experienced the cool, fresh air first thing in the morning.
Guess what? The park opens at 8.30am!!!!!!! Ha ha....
So after a walk around the car park, we decided to have breakfast first. At 8.30am, we got into the park and went in search to rent bicycles. It's quite amusing as you have a choice - new bikes or old bikes. New ones for RM5 + RM1 for every additional hour or RM3 + RM1 for each additional hour for old bikes. I, feeling kiasu, chose a new bike. Also cuz they seemed like higher, bigger bikes. :D
Anyway, after like 2 mins of pedalling, it seems like it's all uphill and the bicycles (tho categorised as new) aren't in a fantastic condition so it gets all weird so i ended up pushing my bike uphill (which was most of the time!). How excited i was each time we were going downhill. Getting on the bike and whoeeeeeee!!!!! So fast just to realise that my brakes weren't working too well either. Ha ha. I had to shout 'It'll be best if you can moveeeeee!!!'. So funny.
Overall, i think i cycled 40%, pushed the bicycle uphill 60% of the time. But it was all great fun! After about 8km, and having returned the bicycle, we were told that we took the 'Advance route'!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha...
Came home but was still feeling all adrenaline high and ready for MORE. So i went swimming around 12pm. Yes, real smart of me and as i rushed out, i did not put on any sunblock.
So here i am stretched out on the couch, tv watching me....red-cheeks, sore ass but happy. :D
I wish i took my camera with me. It would've been perfect.
It's been manyyyyyy years since i rode a bicycle and i was a bit unsteady at first. And man, did my ass hurt!!!! There really should be nicely padded, bigger bicycle seats. I mean, it's so necessary. I wonder how serious cyclists do it? Don't their balls get crushed or something??? Lucky i had a pad on (anticipating PMS) which was a sorta nice 'cushion' for my ve-jay-jay (as how Nazi on Grey's Anatomy calls it). *Blush*
It's been an exciting day Saturday. Went to Bukit Cahaya / Bukit Cerakah / Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. This outing was planned about 2 weeks ago and we went there around 7am. Yes, all excited especially when we experienced the cool, fresh air first thing in the morning.
Guess what? The park opens at 8.30am!!!!!!! Ha ha....
So after a walk around the car park, we decided to have breakfast first. At 8.30am, we got into the park and went in search to rent bicycles. It's quite amusing as you have a choice - new bikes or old bikes. New ones for RM5 + RM1 for every additional hour or RM3 + RM1 for each additional hour for old bikes. I, feeling kiasu, chose a new bike. Also cuz they seemed like higher, bigger bikes. :D
Anyway, after like 2 mins of pedalling, it seems like it's all uphill and the bicycles (tho categorised as new) aren't in a fantastic condition so it gets all weird so i ended up pushing my bike uphill (which was most of the time!). How excited i was each time we were going downhill. Getting on the bike and whoeeeeeee!!!!! So fast just to realise that my brakes weren't working too well either. Ha ha. I had to shout 'It'll be best if you can moveeeeee!!!'. So funny.
Overall, i think i cycled 40%, pushed the bicycle uphill 60% of the time. But it was all great fun! After about 8km, and having returned the bicycle, we were told that we took the 'Advance route'!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha...
Came home but was still feeling all adrenaline high and ready for MORE. So i went swimming around 12pm. Yes, real smart of me and as i rushed out, i did not put on any sunblock.
So here i am stretched out on the couch, tv watching me....red-cheeks, sore ass but happy. :D
I wish i took my camera with me. It would've been perfect.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sights and Sounds - Censored
I wrote a post on Sights and Sounds last April - about some friends who came from Austria filming 'Around the world in 80 days' for Euro'08.
The 'Singapore/Malaysia/Thailand/etc on their way to Hong Kong scene' is out.
Quite funny... Of course it is the short version for Austrian TV. I have the uncensored version with me. Ha ha ha!
Can't believe they used our 'Bollywood scene' where we 'reunited' near KL Tower!! Arghh..so short, so funny! Lucky nicely edited. Too bad it rained heavily that day, so the KL city view was blur and grey.
The 'Singapore/Malaysia/Thailand/etc on their way to Hong Kong scene' is out.
Quite funny... Of course it is the short version for Austrian TV. I have the uncensored version with me. Ha ha ha!
Can't believe they used our 'Bollywood scene' where we 'reunited' near KL Tower!! Arghh..so short, so funny! Lucky nicely edited. Too bad it rained heavily that day, so the KL city view was blur and grey.
Letting go...
Aww I miss my bed.....so so much.
The thought of most probably giving it away breaks my heart. But it is essential in my 'letting go' phase to move on. :)
I might be 'letting go' of all my material possessions by early next year. ALL. I have thought about it and i only want to keep ONE thing. My antique chest given to me by my dad - filled with my favourite lamps. That's all i need and it will be stored in my parent's house.
At least i have a picture to remember my lovely bed. And perhaps get another one (better quality) next time. Must remember to get real sturdy base in the future. Ha ha!
No attachments....
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The Argentine MATE experience
I went to Pejabat Pos Besar Shah Alam this morning to collect a parcel from Argentina.
I have not opened it yet but i know some of the content - a herbal 'mate' (pronounced as ma-te) and some photos from my host family in Resistencia, Chaco. I am too excited but i plan to go home and properly open it up later. The package had such a long trip here - almost 2 months - so i gotta give it the proper 'opening ceremony' it deserves. :)
Then i called my host parents this morning and spoke to them. My papa is going for an open heart surgery next Wed (24/9) so he's in Buenos Aires now. They treat me like their very own daughter. I spent one of the best years of my life there with them. Absolutely unforgettable experience - good and bad. My host parents have been staying in a hotel in Buenos Aires for more than 2 months. My spanish is rusty - i know the words but i just need to think for a while before i speak. Find the words properly so our conversation was kinda abrupt. Ha ha... i even managed to insert a Malay word in between. *blush* Anyway, they are such warm and loving people. They always cry when i call (so passionate and open with their feelings) and they make me wanna cry too. Sigh. I miss them so much.
Mate - reminds me of evenings spent with friends, family and neighbours in Argentina. Just sitting in a circle outside the house or anyone's porch.... you see, it's Argentina's national drink (and Paraguay, Uruguay too i believe). Some are soo addicted to it but the whole process is so meaningful. To me, it's like a fellowship or bonding session. I even read it on Wikipedia... friendship drink, they call it. It's perfect with a game of truco (trick). I have what they say a poker face, so i was pretty damn good at the truco card game! Ha...
Imagine this - sitting on the porch of your house or anyone's porch, the host will then fill a special mate copper/steel cup (i will take a pic of my mate set when i get the chance) with herbs (contains caffeine btw) and pours very hot water into it. A metal straw known as bombilla (its a straw cum sieve). The host has to drink at least once or twice to make sure the drink is clear (smooth) to be passed around. And since it's a kinda small mate cup, the host will fill hot water, pass to the next in the circle, the person drinks it up via bombilla and then passes back to the host. So on and so forth.... it's a beautiful tradition. I love it.
How does it taste like? It takes some getting used to. Quite bitter at first and i can almost guarantee you will burn your tongue -- cuz i did, MANY MANY times...
Some people even add sugar to it make it easier to drink but that would kinda lose the whole original experience. In the summer time, cuz its so damn hot you wanna just be naked, we drink it with cold cordial drinks - i think best with orange cordial!! It's an EVERYDAY, ALL DAY thing over there!
When i came back manyyyyyy years ago, i remember bringing back like two big packs of the herbs for mate - but it went stale cuz i could not find a mate partner here. :(
Would YOU be MY mate partner?
I have not opened it yet but i know some of the content - a herbal 'mate' (pronounced as ma-te) and some photos from my host family in Resistencia, Chaco. I am too excited but i plan to go home and properly open it up later. The package had such a long trip here - almost 2 months - so i gotta give it the proper 'opening ceremony' it deserves. :)
Then i called my host parents this morning and spoke to them. My papa is going for an open heart surgery next Wed (24/9) so he's in Buenos Aires now. They treat me like their very own daughter. I spent one of the best years of my life there with them. Absolutely unforgettable experience - good and bad. My host parents have been staying in a hotel in Buenos Aires for more than 2 months. My spanish is rusty - i know the words but i just need to think for a while before i speak. Find the words properly so our conversation was kinda abrupt. Ha ha... i even managed to insert a Malay word in between. *blush* Anyway, they are such warm and loving people. They always cry when i call (so passionate and open with their feelings) and they make me wanna cry too. Sigh. I miss them so much.
Mate - reminds me of evenings spent with friends, family and neighbours in Argentina. Just sitting in a circle outside the house or anyone's porch.... you see, it's Argentina's national drink (and Paraguay, Uruguay too i believe). Some are soo addicted to it but the whole process is so meaningful. To me, it's like a fellowship or bonding session. I even read it on Wikipedia... friendship drink, they call it. It's perfect with a game of truco (trick). I have what they say a poker face, so i was pretty damn good at the truco card game! Ha...
Imagine this - sitting on the porch of your house or anyone's porch, the host will then fill a special mate copper/steel cup (i will take a pic of my mate set when i get the chance) with herbs (contains caffeine btw) and pours very hot water into it. A metal straw known as bombilla (its a straw cum sieve). The host has to drink at least once or twice to make sure the drink is clear (smooth) to be passed around. And since it's a kinda small mate cup, the host will fill hot water, pass to the next in the circle, the person drinks it up via bombilla and then passes back to the host. So on and so forth.... it's a beautiful tradition. I love it.
How does it taste like? It takes some getting used to. Quite bitter at first and i can almost guarantee you will burn your tongue -- cuz i did, MANY MANY times...
Some people even add sugar to it make it easier to drink but that would kinda lose the whole original experience. In the summer time, cuz its so damn hot you wanna just be naked, we drink it with cold cordial drinks - i think best with orange cordial!! It's an EVERYDAY, ALL DAY thing over there!
When i came back manyyyyyy years ago, i remember bringing back like two big packs of the herbs for mate - but it went stale cuz i could not find a mate partner here. :(
Would YOU be MY mate partner?
Monday, September 15, 2008
I've been burnt...
Yes, it has happened again...but not as painful as the last time.
No, not my heart....my skin.
No one can hurt you when you do not let them in ---> this is MY choice for now tho one idiot (lovingly said, of course) has found himself almost in. Damn. Anyway, that's another topic but now i am talking about sunburn!
So i've been asked if i went off to some island for the weekend, etc.... i wish my story was a little bit more glamorous but err... i went swimming on Sat and Sun in the clubhouse 5 mins from where i live now. And that's my story! ha ha.... Thank God it isn't the serious burn - like the one i suffered after Bali.
So here i am red-faced and red chest -- lovely. I could take a pic, of course, but it might turn out bit porno-ish so let us refrain from that. This is a nice blog. :D
mar y sol ( means sea and sun!)
No, not my heart....my skin.
No one can hurt you when you do not let them in ---> this is MY choice for now tho one idiot (lovingly said, of course) has found himself almost in. Damn. Anyway, that's another topic but now i am talking about sunburn!
So i've been asked if i went off to some island for the weekend, etc.... i wish my story was a little bit more glamorous but err... i went swimming on Sat and Sun in the clubhouse 5 mins from where i live now. And that's my story! ha ha.... Thank God it isn't the serious burn - like the one i suffered after Bali.
So here i am red-faced and red chest -- lovely. I could take a pic, of course, but it might turn out bit porno-ish so let us refrain from that. This is a nice blog. :D
mar y sol ( means sea and sun!)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
What a day.....
Today, i was informed of a death of a friend. I am not close to her as i've only known her for a short time. But it was absolutely shocking nonetheless. You see, her brother found her body in her room and i was told she must've died more than 2 days ago as her body was decomposed.
Such news left me shaken for most of today - the shock of it all. Makes me realise (and reminded) that life is so precious. Do what you wanna do NOW. Never be too busy for anything. Make bloody time. Sigh.
So she has been on my mind the whole day since i found out. May her soul rest in peace. Lyn, you will always be remembered!
This evening, around 9pm, i left my house to drop my friend's laptop off (she left it in my car last Sat). So as i was heading to OUG, i stopped to fill petrol (warning and all). As i got off my car, i saw a lot of smoke coming out from my back tyre (on the right). Like A LOT of smoke and the inside of my sports rim was dark red all around. The petrol attendant and i panicked so i asked him for water. As he poured water(which took forever btw....cuz he had to get it from elsewhere!!), more smoke came out. I think i nearly cried. Some people came to look out of curiosity but you could see them hurrying away as tho they're expecting my car to explode or something. The amount of smoke was unbelievable.
Helpless and all, i called a few friends and felt better when i realised what went wrong. Cancelled my drive to OUG and came home.
Now just trying to calm myself before i sleep.
It's been a traumatising day. Sigh. Goodnight.
Such news left me shaken for most of today - the shock of it all. Makes me realise (and reminded) that life is so precious. Do what you wanna do NOW. Never be too busy for anything. Make bloody time. Sigh.
So she has been on my mind the whole day since i found out. May her soul rest in peace. Lyn, you will always be remembered!
This evening, around 9pm, i left my house to drop my friend's laptop off (she left it in my car last Sat). So as i was heading to OUG, i stopped to fill petrol (warning and all). As i got off my car, i saw a lot of smoke coming out from my back tyre (on the right). Like A LOT of smoke and the inside of my sports rim was dark red all around. The petrol attendant and i panicked so i asked him for water. As he poured water(which took forever btw....cuz he had to get it from elsewhere!!), more smoke came out. I think i nearly cried. Some people came to look out of curiosity but you could see them hurrying away as tho they're expecting my car to explode or something. The amount of smoke was unbelievable.
Helpless and all, i called a few friends and felt better when i realised what went wrong. Cancelled my drive to OUG and came home.
Now just trying to calm myself before i sleep.
It's been a traumatising day. Sigh. Goodnight.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Another year...wiser?
Yes, i have turned 30 since my last post --- and i have not turned another year wiser. :(
Still silly me... ha ha.
Still silly me... ha ha.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Top 5 - 'REAL smart' replies for come-ons.... yes, REALLY!
Now that i'm almost turning 30, i think i can come up with MY TOP 5 comebacks from come-ons.
I don't usually react to flirts too 'smoothly' so among my friends, it's always a joke on how i reply to flirts/come-ons. *blush*
I will update this as it comes along - need to think carefully - but i might as well start from the most err 'memorable' one. :)
The lesson to learn is, apparently, (as my dearest friend has time and time again drilled into my head) is to SMILE and look down shyly when you have no response to flirts. DO NO OPEN YOUR BIG, SMART MOUTH AND COME UP REAL 'SMART' responses!!! *smart student*
Scenario UNO :
In a club, having drinks with some old, some new friends. This kinda cute guy (friend of a friend) comes up to me at the end of the night and talks to me while holding a glass of water (you know how we all hope that if we drink water before driving home, we'd appear (or smell and feel) less alcoholic!!)
DUDE : (after small talk) So, next time i meet you... can i flirt with you again?
SMOOTH ME : Eh, just drink your water la. (what can i say? I was caught off guard la. Sigh)
Scenario DOS :
Just having a pure innocent chat on what type of girl a friend was looking for....
DUDE : (starts caressing my hair and holding the back of my head softly) Actually someone like you, someone i'd get to know for say 2 years and then get married. Same hair length, cute smile, someone my mum would like....
SMOOTH ME : HA HA HA HA HA HA (laughs loudly non-stop and moved away ..... what was i supposed to say??????)
Scenario TRES:
I kinda joked that it was my birthday (i don't know why people always take me seriously! sigh), so my cute neighbour baked me a cake and came over to my house. It was soooo sweet of him...... but, err, he did not bake me another cake on my REAL birthday!! :( Sniff.
I don't usually react to flirts too 'smoothly' so among my friends, it's always a joke on how i reply to flirts/come-ons. *blush*
I will update this as it comes along - need to think carefully - but i might as well start from the most err 'memorable' one. :)
The lesson to learn is, apparently, (as my dearest friend has time and time again drilled into my head) is to SMILE and look down shyly when you have no response to flirts. DO NO OPEN YOUR BIG, SMART MOUTH AND COME UP REAL 'SMART' responses!!! *smart student*
Scenario UNO :
In a club, having drinks with some old, some new friends. This kinda cute guy (friend of a friend) comes up to me at the end of the night and talks to me while holding a glass of water (you know how we all hope that if we drink water before driving home, we'd appear (or smell and feel) less alcoholic!!)
DUDE : (after small talk) So, next time i meet you... can i flirt with you again?
SMOOTH ME : Eh, just drink your water la. (what can i say? I was caught off guard la. Sigh)
Scenario DOS :
Just having a pure innocent chat on what type of girl a friend was looking for....
DUDE : (starts caressing my hair and holding the back of my head softly) Actually someone like you, someone i'd get to know for say 2 years and then get married. Same hair length, cute smile, someone my mum would like....
SMOOTH ME : HA HA HA HA HA HA (laughs loudly non-stop and moved away ..... what was i supposed to say??????)
Scenario TRES:
I kinda joked that it was my birthday (i don't know why people always take me seriously! sigh), so my cute neighbour baked me a cake and came over to my house. It was soooo sweet of him...... but, err, he did not bake me another cake on my REAL birthday!! :( Sniff.
Scenario QUATRO
To be continued...
Oh, btw thanks to Allison for this pic! Ha ha..... *smart*
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The Rose
This song/lyrics gives me a warm feeling inside..... how about you?
Some say love .. it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love…it is a razor that leads your soul to bleed
Some say love…it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love…it is a flower and you it’s only seed
It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
When you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies a seed that with the sun’s love
In the spring becomes a rose.
Some say love .. it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love…it is a razor that leads your soul to bleed
Some say love…it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love…it is a flower and you it’s only seed
It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
When you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies a seed that with the sun’s love
In the spring becomes a rose.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I swear i have been busy with work.....REALLY REALLY!!
So through a friend in Facebook, i have found a new favourite site www.associatedcontent.com/articles
Been reading a lot of articles on relationship topics. Interesting.
Been reading a lot of articles on relationship topics. Interesting.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
No matter what happens....
This is one of my fave quotes - found it while clearing my room. *melts*
"In this life, nothing good is truly lost. It stays part of a person, becomes part of their character.
So part of you goes everywhere with me. And part of me is yours, for ever."
"In this life, nothing good is truly lost. It stays part of a person, becomes part of their character.
So part of you goes everywhere with me. And part of me is yours, for ever."
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Shanghai - SIGHTSEEING
All excited cuz finally arrived at Yu Garden
Top : Michelle and i - so bloody crowded! Bottom : Wai Fang and i
in Dino Beach Themepark
We were laughing cuz this looks more like an ad for
in Dino Beach Themepark We were laughing cuz this looks more like an ad for the Green Tea drink i'm holding. Damn hot! Damn thirsty!
Shanghai - FOOD!
Came back last Sunday night.....
MY PEOPLE (back 'home') cheated me and tried to poison me. Sniff. Besides that, it was a real good trip.
We had superb dinners - usually took about 3 hours every night- with fab wine as company.
On our first night, we went to Xin Tian Di (translates for you non-Mandarin speaking people : Heaven on earth) a real nice Western-ish place with rows of restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc. Had dinner at Lawry's - had a big sign ' Best prime rib steak in the world' - well leave it to the Chinese to claim such a thing eh? Drama.
But yeah, it was darn tasty and they have this interesting spinning salad bowl. The waitresses would perform some kind of salad preparation infront of you. It was superb, crispy salad tho! And my darn prime ribs costs RMB460 (about RM228). Of course not having to pay for it makes it all just lovely! :D
We stayed at Shanghai Marriott Hotel Hongqiao - got upgraded to Executive Suites upon checking in. Supposedly the summer promotion! We KNOW it is because occupancy was real low. It was very hot and the usual smog.
Anyways, the second night we went to this lovely Shanghainese restaurant. It's actually one of the ex-premier's home. 3-storey house - beautiful, simple beautiful! Since our host is some bigtime businessman there, we got the VIP room on the top floor. Food was perfect, err the wine too! *hiccup* We had a 40-course dinner. Nearly died there.... and it seems it is normal for them to end the meal with sio long pau and rice to make sure ur stomach's full. Arghh.... Am not even gonna talk about how much it could possibly cost.
Shintoro Restaurant
MY PEOPLE (back 'home') cheated me and tried to poison me. Sniff. Besides that, it was a real good trip.
We had superb dinners - usually took about 3 hours every night- with fab wine as company.
On our first night, we went to Xin Tian Di (translates for you non-Mandarin speaking people : Heaven on earth) a real nice Western-ish place with rows of restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc. Had dinner at Lawry's - had a big sign ' Best prime rib steak in the world' - well leave it to the Chinese to claim such a thing eh? Drama.
But yeah, it was darn tasty and they have this interesting spinning salad bowl. The waitresses would perform some kind of salad preparation infront of you. It was superb, crispy salad tho! And my darn prime ribs costs RMB460 (about RM228). Of course not having to pay for it makes it all just lovely! :D
We stayed at Shanghai Marriott Hotel Hongqiao - got upgraded to Executive Suites upon checking in. Supposedly the summer promotion! We KNOW it is because occupancy was real low. It was very hot and the usual smog.
Anyways, the second night we went to this lovely Shanghainese restaurant. It's actually one of the ex-premier's home. 3-storey house - beautiful, simple beautiful! Since our host is some bigtime businessman there, we got the VIP room on the top floor. Food was perfect, err the wine too! *hiccup* We had a 40-course dinner. Nearly died there.... and it seems it is normal for them to end the meal with sio long pau and rice to make sure ur stomach's full. Arghh.... Am not even gonna talk about how much it could possibly cost.
The dining room - ex-premier's home. Beautiful, no?
Yes, this pic was taken in the toilet of the ex-premier's home. So what? It's a lovely toilet. *blush*
For the third night, we went to this absolutely fabulous Jap restaurant - Shintoro. Serving Jap fusion cuisine, it was formerly a factory of some sort. So it's amazingly spacious - the moment we walked in, we were like 'WOW!' - such a big place and its not the usual Jap places we see here. Expensive, as well. Small portions and expensive. Once again, not paying for the meal so.... YESS la! All is lovely. Ha ha.
Shintoro Restaurant
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The 'burning' memory
THE PLACE : LEGIAN BALI YEAR : 2006
MY MISSION : To get a good tan.
MY ACCOMPLISHMENT : MAJOR SUN BURN - totally new, virginic skin. Very painful, if i may add.
MY MISSION : To get a good tan.
MY ACCOMPLISHMENT : MAJOR SUN BURN - totally new, virginic skin. Very painful, if i may add.All it took was 2 hours under the scorching sun and Banana Boat tan spray. I felt fine right after but about 3 hours later, i started feeling real hot and turning red. After the sunset cruise (pix), i went back to the hotel, filled the bathtub with cold water and soaked myself. After which, the bathroom was all steamed up! Can u imagine how hot i was????
My friend panicked cuz i did not answer her the whole 1.5 hours i was in the bathtub.
It was bad from there ..... it hurt to do anything - walk or anything else. I remember we were saying goodbye to our friends at the airport and i had to start walking first. When Jamie and Aida caught up with me, i was still not too far away. Walking was a pain.... skin full of water bubbles, itchy, etc.
I shall not explain further. Enough said. *ouch*
Monday, July 28, 2008
您能否讲普通话？
Ha ha.... i tried searching for "English to Chinese free online translator" and i found Yahoo! Babel Fish.
So the title supposed to mean ' Can you speak Mandarin?', or at least that is what i asked to be translated la. :)
Well, i am off to Shanghai on Thursday, on a VERY early morning flight. It'll be my first time 'balik kampung'. Am excited about it! Yeayy!!
:)
So the title supposed to mean ' Can you speak Mandarin?', or at least that is what i asked to be translated la. :)
Well, i am off to Shanghai on Thursday, on a VERY early morning flight. It'll be my first time 'balik kampung'. Am excited about it! Yeayy!!
:)
Friday, July 25, 2008
Miami Ink
I love watching it...seems like it's on almost every night?
So inspiring. I remember watching it for the first time at a friend's house. :) We both have a tattoo each, so i guess we thought we were all 'in the scene' and all. ha ha..
I think i am gonna get another soon..... i have found the spot. Hmm. And i think i have found the perfect butterfly even (not the typical type...)
Last night, one dude did a RIPPA on his stomach, honouring his cousin (a very close friend). Another guy did a potrait of his dead wife. She died at such a young age and she was beautiful. Beautiful smile.
It got me thinking - wouldn't it be great if people do it while everyone else is alive? I mean, it would be a definite WOW. Don't get me wrong...I mean, it is sweet 'in loving memory' and all....
I remember a guy did a potrait of his grandma (who was still alive but getting senile or something). Sweet.
Love it.
So inspiring. I remember watching it for the first time at a friend's house. :) We both have a tattoo each, so i guess we thought we were all 'in the scene' and all. ha ha..
I think i am gonna get another soon..... i have found the spot. Hmm. And i think i have found the perfect butterfly even (not the typical type...)
Last night, one dude did a RIPPA on his stomach, honouring his cousin (a very close friend). Another guy did a potrait of his dead wife. She died at such a young age and she was beautiful. Beautiful smile.
It got me thinking - wouldn't it be great if people do it while everyone else is alive? I mean, it would be a definite WOW. Don't get me wrong...I mean, it is sweet 'in loving memory' and all....
I remember a guy did a potrait of his grandma (who was still alive but getting senile or something). Sweet.
Love it.
A walk in the park
When I go for my morning walks alone at the Taman Tun park, I love the sense of peace, admiring the trees, plants, drains and slippery path while I walk. The seemingly fresh air 7 in the morning. Smiling at fellow walkers…well, some just look down and whiz pass.
It is also a time for me to check my thoughts, clear my mind. And when I reach a point where my legs begin to hurt or I can feel my tired feet, soaked top and the weights becoming too heavy and a uphill walk ahead, I sometimes wanna give up.
This is when I tell myself, this is like life…..You wanna give up now???? Then with a deep, determined breath I march on. All in my head, these early morning conversations. I hope someone understands me here. :s
Reaching the top, I feel a sense of triumph and pride. In my head, it’s like – yeah, it gets difficult sometimes, but u face it head on and you will get through it.
So that’s my every morning motivation. Some have asked why I do it alone? Of course company would be great but alone if fine as well. It’s a ‘ME’ time. It’s better than having to make conversations with someone you don’t even wanna spend time with, no?
And sometimes, when I have the time after my walk, I would go to my fave Taman Tun coffee shop for some kopi-o-peng and read paper.
I miss that routine.
It is also a time for me to check my thoughts, clear my mind. And when I reach a point where my legs begin to hurt or I can feel my tired feet, soaked top and the weights becoming too heavy and a uphill walk ahead, I sometimes wanna give up.
This is when I tell myself, this is like life…..You wanna give up now???? Then with a deep, determined breath I march on. All in my head, these early morning conversations. I hope someone understands me here. :s
Reaching the top, I feel a sense of triumph and pride. In my head, it’s like – yeah, it gets difficult sometimes, but u face it head on and you will get through it.
So that’s my every morning motivation. Some have asked why I do it alone? Of course company would be great but alone if fine as well. It’s a ‘ME’ time. It’s better than having to make conversations with someone you don’t even wanna spend time with, no?
And sometimes, when I have the time after my walk, I would go to my fave Taman Tun coffee shop for some kopi-o-peng and read paper.
I miss that routine.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Conversations in my mind
I am so looking forward to the weekend. I need some zzzz.....
Last weekend in Penang with the family was excellent! Of course with a big group, there were the usual indecisiveness and delays but hey, it's expected so we live with it! :)
We also went to my grandmother's place in Air Hitam. It was her birthday - 89th birthday! Everyone was there except my mum. She had other important things to attend to in Port Dickson. But she was missed as we all knew she'd love to be there. We took (or at least tried) to take a family pic. I have yet to upload it... (will do soon!) but u'd be amazed how many of us were there in the hall! Quite a crowd...
OF COURSE they all went on a durian hunt while i stayed back in my Amma's house. I swear that night while playing cards and drinking, the farts and burps were absolutely horrendous! *fainted* Even my 4 year old nephew/godson and 1.5 year old niece love durians!! Bloody hell...minus points those two! :p They're too young to read this so they'll still think their FAVE aunt loves them to bits! *Reminder : to delete this post in a few years, just in case!*
We played Taboo and Pictionary as well...in the hotel. I was surprised the security didn't come to our room. And although i still find it hard to believe, i kinda admit that i have no talent whatsoever in drawing. Sigh. Yes, i finally got a flaw. HA HA HA!
Here's the story - when i was in primary school, maybe 10 years old or so.... i was chosen to represent my school in Port Dickson for an art competition. Surely that means something, right? So my dad bought me a new set (actually my first set!) of crayons and i excitedly (and i must say confidently) went for the competition in Chung Hwa School PD.
It was then ...after i completed my drawing, proudly admiring my simple small house, one big tree and 3 people (bigger than the house, i remember!) and then started looking around at fellow 'competitors' that i realised they had super beautiful, almost real drawings..while mine didnt make sense! I mean, my 3 people could not possibly fit into their own home!!!!!!!!
Ok ok, so i left a VERY important detail out...sheshh!
My godmother was the headmistress of my primary school. Ok? Happy???????? Sheshhh...
Oh fine! And my godfather was looking after the stationery shop there as well. *blush* I think i felt like Robin Hood back then because i used to ask all my classmates if they needed anything (pen, books, ruler, whatever) and i will go see my godfather.
The wonderful man would just pass me anything i wanted (even like 10 books, 5 pencils, 3 rulers!!!!) for free! God bless his soul! Awww..... he passed away two years later when i turned 12. I remember him - gentle, kind and very loving. The one and only godfather i'd ever want and ever will have.
And even when i've recently been told of his story, the beautiful memories of him surpasses them all. I mean, everyone has a story right? We've done and will/might do some stuff that we would not be proud of.... But let's not focus on that right now, shall we?
Here's to beautiful memories. :)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Last night i saw you in my dreams....
Last night i saw you in my dreams....
Now i can't wait to get back to sleep......
*melted*
(...from a song by Kanye)
Now i can't wait to get back to sleep......
*melted*
(...from a song by Kanye)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thank God it is Thursday!!!
I am so glad it is Thursday!
This week has been crazy, hasn't it? I mean, all those hours spent in the car. As it is, fuel price has gone up significantly! Jeez....
Anyway, after my assignment this evening, i am off work till Tuesday so i am sooo looking forward to the short break. It's definitely gonna be a binge weekend with my family - they shall have their durians (ugh!) and hopefully i will find some mangosteens to keep me company! :)
We'll also meet up with my grandmother and cousins in Penang for dinner and picnic, so that would be good. I think it's gonna be a bit more chaotic than i would prefer, but hey.... let's just embrace these moments ya?
Expose momento!!
My colleague told me yesterday about the Fish spas here. I mean, it's been mushrooming all around town and well, almost throughout the country. I heard there's one in Seremban and Penang, etc. Well, apparently, it costs RM300K to set up one Dr Fish Spa thingy. And out of the hundreds of outlets, only ONE outlet is using the correct Dr Fish!!! The rest are mixing the right fish with talapias!!!!!! Can u bloody believe that?
It is so irritating right? I mean..we pay RM38 for 30 mins or something like that...and for what?
I believe in karma.... what goes around, comes around.
Till then, have a fabulous weekend!
This week has been crazy, hasn't it? I mean, all those hours spent in the car. As it is, fuel price has gone up significantly! Jeez....
Anyway, after my assignment this evening, i am off work till Tuesday so i am sooo looking forward to the short break. It's definitely gonna be a binge weekend with my family - they shall have their durians (ugh!) and hopefully i will find some mangosteens to keep me company! :)
We'll also meet up with my grandmother and cousins in Penang for dinner and picnic, so that would be good. I think it's gonna be a bit more chaotic than i would prefer, but hey.... let's just embrace these moments ya?
Expose momento!!
My colleague told me yesterday about the Fish spas here. I mean, it's been mushrooming all around town and well, almost throughout the country. I heard there's one in Seremban and Penang, etc. Well, apparently, it costs RM300K to set up one Dr Fish Spa thingy. And out of the hundreds of outlets, only ONE outlet is using the correct Dr Fish!!! The rest are mixing the right fish with talapias!!!!!! Can u bloody believe that?
It is so irritating right? I mean..we pay RM38 for 30 mins or something like that...and for what?
I believe in karma.... what goes around, comes around.
Till then, have a fabulous weekend!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Que preciosa es la vida
How precious life is...
I received an e-mail from my host sister last Thursday. You see...i spent a year living with a family in South America and they treat me like their own family and i, in turn, call them papa, mama and i have additional 3 sisters (on top of my original 2!). :)
Anyway, my host sister there informed me that papa had a heart attack and is currently in ICU. I just read another e-mail from her saying he was going thru a major surgery last Friday and now there's no more news. His heart isn't working the way it should.
The rest might sound a little cliche, i know, but who cares...
You should see how my host parents are - South Americans are mostly very warm, expressive and passionate. You can feel the warmth... the way they greet, the way they express themselves - talk and laugh. Watching my host parents together always blows me away. They must be in their 60s now, but just observing them, you could feel the love. Not like typical old couples - some are miserable but just 'surviving', some cold...of course, i am just generalising right now.
Anyway, i actually went to church last Saturday - sunset mass. I know.... i can't even remember when i last went for mass. Christmas maybe? Ohhh....it was for my grandaunt's funeral. For many years (maybe last 3-4 years), i chose not to go regularly to church. Somewhere along the line, i felt it was hypocritical for me to attend mass and i guess in a big way, i felt ashamed (loss sense of worth) due to my wrongdoings.
This time i sat quietly outside the church (arrived late, so it was overcrowded) and midway through the readings and sermons, i got lost in my own thoughts. I felt the urge to pray for my papa - and mama - and how such a beautiful soul deserves only love and happiness, NO suffering! How i hope he pulls through somehow and recovers. I am still anxiously waiting for news from them.
I haven't seen them in more than 10 years but each time we talk on the phone or via Yahoo, they would cry, i would cry....all expressing how much we miss each other. Spending my one year (one of the bestest years of my life still), i learnt more about myself and i only just realised that i would like to rediscover the 17 year old me again. Full of hope and excitement for life.... with rose tinted glasses! :)
Silly me but i got all teary a couple of times in church. Oh my mum would be so proud if she knew... but let's not get her tooo excited, shall we? :D
I received an e-mail from my host sister last Thursday. You see...i spent a year living with a family in South America and they treat me like their own family and i, in turn, call them papa, mama and i have additional 3 sisters (on top of my original 2!). :)
Anyway, my host sister there informed me that papa had a heart attack and is currently in ICU. I just read another e-mail from her saying he was going thru a major surgery last Friday and now there's no more news. His heart isn't working the way it should.
The rest might sound a little cliche, i know, but who cares...
You should see how my host parents are - South Americans are mostly very warm, expressive and passionate. You can feel the warmth... the way they greet, the way they express themselves - talk and laugh. Watching my host parents together always blows me away. They must be in their 60s now, but just observing them, you could feel the love. Not like typical old couples - some are miserable but just 'surviving', some cold...of course, i am just generalising right now.
Anyway, i actually went to church last Saturday - sunset mass. I know.... i can't even remember when i last went for mass. Christmas maybe? Ohhh....it was for my grandaunt's funeral. For many years (maybe last 3-4 years), i chose not to go regularly to church. Somewhere along the line, i felt it was hypocritical for me to attend mass and i guess in a big way, i felt ashamed (loss sense of worth) due to my wrongdoings.
This time i sat quietly outside the church (arrived late, so it was overcrowded) and midway through the readings and sermons, i got lost in my own thoughts. I felt the urge to pray for my papa - and mama - and how such a beautiful soul deserves only love and happiness, NO suffering! How i hope he pulls through somehow and recovers. I am still anxiously waiting for news from them.
I haven't seen them in more than 10 years but each time we talk on the phone or via Yahoo, they would cry, i would cry....all expressing how much we miss each other. Spending my one year (one of the bestest years of my life still), i learnt more about myself and i only just realised that i would like to rediscover the 17 year old me again. Full of hope and excitement for life.... with rose tinted glasses! :)
Silly me but i got all teary a couple of times in church. Oh my mum would be so proud if she knew... but let's not get her tooo excited, shall we? :D
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I choose to be an adventurer
I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how i view my life.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Eleven minutes
That's all it takes, it seems. Or so Paulo Coelho says. Well, i am reading the book for the second time. *blush*
Maria is such a smart woman. I love her thoughts...
1) Love is not to be found in others, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do so, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
2) In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
The true experience of freedom : having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
3) I'm not a body with a soul. I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.....
I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.
4) i can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's a question of how i view my life.
5) Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.
6) And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
Maria is such a smart woman. I love her thoughts...
1) Love is not to be found in others, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do so, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
2) In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
The true experience of freedom : having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
3) I'm not a body with a soul. I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.....
I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.
4) i can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's a question of how i view my life.
5) Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, I see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart.
6) And if nothing belongs to me, then there's no point wasting my time looking after things that aren't mine; it's best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Avalancha
One of my favouritestestestest ...EVER! *sniff*
Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)
No quiero que el mundo se mueva mas (i don't want the world to move anymore)
Quisiera congelarlo (i wanna freeze it)
Guardarlo para siempre (keep it safe forever)
Asi nunca te perderia (that way i will never lose you)
Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)
Siento colores brillando (i feel bright colours)
Yo los claros (mine the clears ones)
Y tu los oscuros (yours are the darker ones)
Se mezclan y me pierdo en ti (all are mixed and i am lost in you)
De repente me consume una ola (again i am lost in a wave)
De verdadera inseguridad (the truth is insecurity)
El amor que me abraza se disipa (the love i embraced disappeared)
Y me quedo sola sin ti (and i am left alone without you)
Si hay calma antes de la tormenta (if there's calm before the storm)
Temo que estamos cerca del final (i'm afraid we're close to the end)
Trato de entender en tus palabras (i am trying to understand your words)
Si es que vas a huir de aqui (if you are leaving here)
Como vas a huir de aqui (how are you leaving here?)
Como vas a dejarme asi (how can you leave me like this?)
Cuando estamos juntos (whenever we're together)
Me llena una incertidumbre (i am filled with an uncertainty)
Me creerias (and i believe)
Si yo te dijera (if i could tell you)
Esta locura es solo por ti (this madness is only for you)
If all fails...
I always joke around and say 'If all fails, at least i can do....' --- > and it all depends on what i was doing well at the moment.
For example, this afternoon while going downstairs for lunch with my colleague, and i found myself holding the lift for the 'whole world'!! So it was then that i told my colleague "If all fails, at least i can be a lift operator". Let's see --- have more options now - lift operator, Starbucks barrista (as i love making cafe lattes - i know....so lame and sick!), bouncer (experienced during the recent property forum), housewife (cooking a storm for parties 2-3 times a year counts?! Right?), etc...
Well, it's nice to have choices, no?
Last night while i was in the car on my way back from Seremban (AGAIN!!! i went there like 3 times since last Saturday!), my sister asked me what immediate future plans were. I wish it was all that simple.... so i just told her casually what i thought and then kept staring out the window. Lucky it was pitch black and me all teary was not so obvious.
I do have options, choices... it's just a matter of which direction i want to head to.
Isn't the unknown a little intimidating?
I have always been able to take the plunge and jump head-on to new adventures, new work, new cultures.... open to trying new things and facing challenges. But this one thing...this ONE thing.... makes me scared. *half smile*
Well, surely the only way to go now is -----> to just bloody do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
For example, this afternoon while going downstairs for lunch with my colleague, and i found myself holding the lift for the 'whole world'!! So it was then that i told my colleague "If all fails, at least i can be a lift operator". Let's see --- have more options now - lift operator, Starbucks barrista (as i love making cafe lattes - i know....so lame and sick!), bouncer (experienced during the recent property forum), housewife (cooking a storm for parties 2-3 times a year counts?! Right?), etc...
Well, it's nice to have choices, no?
Last night while i was in the car on my way back from Seremban (AGAIN!!! i went there like 3 times since last Saturday!), my sister asked me what immediate future plans were. I wish it was all that simple.... so i just told her casually what i thought and then kept staring out the window. Lucky it was pitch black and me all teary was not so obvious.
I do have options, choices... it's just a matter of which direction i want to head to.
Isn't the unknown a little intimidating?
I have always been able to take the plunge and jump head-on to new adventures, new work, new cultures.... open to trying new things and facing challenges. But this one thing...this ONE thing.... makes me scared. *half smile*
Well, surely the only way to go now is -----> to just bloody do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Monday, June 23, 2008
Packing....
I spent last night clearing stuff in my room - throwing away and packing what i need.
I came across old photos, letters, journals so it took me hours as i sneezed my way through the old memories. Plane tickets, receipts, countless letters, cards i never managed to pass on, journals -- what shall i do with them all? I ripped the old letters and plan to burn the journals real soon. Some things are better left as that - memories.
And i found a fantastic phrase -- i ripped the paper last night and will post the phrase here soon. About how nothing is lost --- no matter what. Along those lines la.
I get a little panicky now when i think about Saturday - that's when Operasi 'Move Out' happens. I have decided to leave my things at a friend's and live out of a suitcase for a month or so.
Why? I have big decisions to make for myself......
'When you love someone so deeply they become your life,
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside,
Blindly i imagined i could keep you under glass,
Now i understand to hold you i must open my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage to be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will lead you back to me when you're ready to land
I can't pretend these tears aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
I came across old photos, letters, journals so it took me hours as i sneezed my way through the old memories. Plane tickets, receipts, countless letters, cards i never managed to pass on, journals -- what shall i do with them all? I ripped the old letters and plan to burn the journals real soon. Some things are better left as that - memories.
And i found a fantastic phrase -- i ripped the paper last night and will post the phrase here soon. About how nothing is lost --- no matter what. Along those lines la.
I get a little panicky now when i think about Saturday - that's when Operasi 'Move Out' happens. I have decided to leave my things at a friend's and live out of a suitcase for a month or so.
Why? I have big decisions to make for myself......
'When you love someone so deeply they become your life,
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside,
Blindly i imagined i could keep you under glass,
Now i understand to hold you i must open my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage to be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will lead you back to me when you're ready to land
I can't pretend these tears aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Quirky kissing facts
Ohmy...i read an interesting article. Perfect on a Friday morning! :)
It's below but look at number 8 (hey! my lucky number!!) --- An average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married!?!! Oh man, i got a loooooooong way to go. Gotta hurry! ha ha... *muuuahh*
10 quirky facts about kissing
By Laura Schaefer
Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!
1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.
2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!
3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.
5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.
6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.
7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.
8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.
9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.
10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!
It's below but look at number 8 (hey! my lucky number!!) --- An average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married!?!! Oh man, i got a loooooooong way to go. Gotta hurry! ha ha... *muuuahh*
10 quirky facts about kissing
By Laura Schaefer
Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!
1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.
2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!
3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.
5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.
6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.
7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.
8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.
9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.
10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
When is too much, just too much?
I have been told I am toooo sensitive. Well, maybe I am for matters close to my heart.
But there’s no denying I am ‘macho’ on the outside. Ha ha….
But how can i just stand back and watch a real good friend make such a big mistake? Especially when we've spent hours talking about it?
You should NEVER ever let anyone make decisions for you. Life changing decisions. And if they do, then you should change ur 'story' to the world and be accountable for your actions.
Your decisions. Your choices. Your life.
Among my best friends, given the permission, they know they will get 'in-ur-face' responses from me. And i tell u, it is NOT easy being so harsh and direct. But somebody's got to do it, right? And really, i'd rather have a 'in-ur-face' friend then someone who agrees to everything you say or do. I don't need cheerleaders in my life, all the time. Some brutal honesty would be great sometimes.
But it is not easy. This morning, we were exchanging texts - her decision to continue with the wedding - and i was like crying in bed while texting her the 'in-ur-face' messages. She even told me she needed my OK for this. That it would mean alot to her. I was so frustrated i cried but texted her that she does not need my OK for anything. This is her decision. I just needed her to understand that.
It's true.... i guess i did my part. The rest is up to her. After all she has been through, i honestly hope this is a good thing. Cuz she deserves it.
*fingers crossed*
But there’s no denying I am ‘macho’ on the outside. Ha ha….
But how can i just stand back and watch a real good friend make such a big mistake? Especially when we've spent hours talking about it?
You should NEVER ever let anyone make decisions for you. Life changing decisions. And if they do, then you should change ur 'story' to the world and be accountable for your actions.
Your decisions. Your choices. Your life.
Among my best friends, given the permission, they know they will get 'in-ur-face' responses from me. And i tell u, it is NOT easy being so harsh and direct. But somebody's got to do it, right? And really, i'd rather have a 'in-ur-face' friend then someone who agrees to everything you say or do. I don't need cheerleaders in my life, all the time. Some brutal honesty would be great sometimes.
But it is not easy. This morning, we were exchanging texts - her decision to continue with the wedding - and i was like crying in bed while texting her the 'in-ur-face' messages. She even told me she needed my OK for this. That it would mean alot to her. I was so frustrated i cried but texted her that she does not need my OK for anything. This is her decision. I just needed her to understand that.
It's true.... i guess i did my part. The rest is up to her. After all she has been through, i honestly hope this is a good thing. Cuz she deserves it.
*fingers crossed*
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I am the master of my own destiny
Okok....this is the last tarrot reading i will reveal. I promise!
Just thought it was pretty interesting. ---> to decide whether to act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain. Hmmmm.... *pensive while stroking chin*
The Magus
The Magus is the master of his own destiny and unafraid to act as he chooses. By setting specific and attainable goals, the Magician utilizes his great knowledge and wisdom to succeed where others have failed. He is the master of his own destiny. Although, with such power comes great responsibility. The Magician must decide whether to act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain.
Just thought it was pretty interesting. ---> to decide whether to act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain. Hmmmm.... *pensive while stroking chin*
The Magus
The Magus is the master of his own destiny and unafraid to act as he chooses. By setting specific and attainable goals, the Magician utilizes his great knowledge and wisdom to succeed where others have failed. He is the master of his own destiny. Although, with such power comes great responsibility. The Magician must decide whether to act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Tarrot card today says....DEATH!!!
Death
This card is commonly misconstrued and does not specifically pertain to physical death. The Death card signifies change in your life brought about by the ending of a current situation and the beginning of a new one. While the card itself may be morbid, it actually represents exciting change in your life. Be prepared for new and exciting situations to develop.
This card is commonly misconstrued and does not specifically pertain to physical death. The Death card signifies change in your life brought about by the ending of a current situation and the beginning of a new one. While the card itself may be morbid, it actually represents exciting change in your life. Be prepared for new and exciting situations to develop.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Embracing change
Seems like this year is all about CHANGE for me.
My dad told me sometime in February that he plans to move to his house in Seremban by the end of the year. And i was like ' end of the year? ohh ok' -- thinking i have plenty of time to save up and find a place to stay on my own. Then things cropped up, and my dad kept changing his mind to move in August, then July and suddenly he tells me JUNE!! Arghh...
It is exciting this new chapter in my life. I decided that i will find a place further away due to budget constraints, and also cuz i do not wanna share an apartment with a stranger, nor let out a room so i can afford an apartment in Damansara Perdana or Kelana Jaya or wherever.
So i have been spending the past weekend driving around and looking at apartments. Last Monday, i had an appointment with an agent and he showed me a 3+1 apartment!Arghh...i was like 'What would i need so many rooms??'.
So the hunt is still on.......
I'm not even sure i'll fix an Astro for the apartment - heck, i will let dad have the tv! Hmm... i might have to find a new job to live comfortably! :) Yes, i know...i know...it has only been a little over 6 months with this job. *itching*
What i look forward to?
1. My own space .... no need to be 'decent'!! ha!!
2. My own stuff and decor (existing stuff)
3. An empty apartment - minimal furnishing
4. Cooking @ home more often - pastries, soups, hmm...
5. Finally displaying my candles and lamps!! yeayy!!
Ok, now i am getting excited all over again...nervous yet excited. Nervous about being really alone yet excited with the prospect of finally living on my own.
Now let's just go find that apartment, ok? *fingers crossed*
My dad told me sometime in February that he plans to move to his house in Seremban by the end of the year. And i was like ' end of the year? ohh ok' -- thinking i have plenty of time to save up and find a place to stay on my own. Then things cropped up, and my dad kept changing his mind to move in August, then July and suddenly he tells me JUNE!! Arghh...
It is exciting this new chapter in my life. I decided that i will find a place further away due to budget constraints, and also cuz i do not wanna share an apartment with a stranger, nor let out a room so i can afford an apartment in Damansara Perdana or Kelana Jaya or wherever.
So i have been spending the past weekend driving around and looking at apartments. Last Monday, i had an appointment with an agent and he showed me a 3+1 apartment!Arghh...i was like 'What would i need so many rooms??'.
So the hunt is still on.......
I'm not even sure i'll fix an Astro for the apartment - heck, i will let dad have the tv! Hmm... i might have to find a new job to live comfortably! :) Yes, i know...i know...it has only been a little over 6 months with this job. *itching*
What i look forward to?
1. My own space .... no need to be 'decent'!! ha!!
2. My own stuff and decor (existing stuff)
3. An empty apartment - minimal furnishing
4. Cooking @ home more often - pastries, soups, hmm...
5. Finally displaying my candles and lamps!! yeayy!!
Ok, now i am getting excited all over again...nervous yet excited. Nervous about being really alone yet excited with the prospect of finally living on my own.
Now let's just go find that apartment, ok? *fingers crossed*
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Things that make me smile....
This morning while getting ready for work, i decided to compile alist of things that definitely make me smile...... :D
1. Looking at a baby smile while he/she sleeps - with the belief that angels are playing with her/him... sooo cute!
1. Looking at a baby smile while he/she sleeps - with the belief that angels are playing with her/him... sooo cute!
2. Some notti memories *lips sealed*
3. Goofy moments with my best friends - this is an on-going thing!
4. Reminiscing silly moments while in Argentina - riding a gear-less motorbike, trying to enter a casino (underage), 'haunted stories', the motorbike accident, etc
5. My amazing time with the Orang Asli in Kuala Pilah - trekking (thats where i experienced my first right arm torn muscle and phobia for durians!!)
6. Getting really burnt (really burnt as i LITERALLY shed a layer of skin!!!) while tanning in Bali! No one will ever know (i hope!) how painful it was!
7. My trips to the Philippines - ohgod i sooooooooooo miss the food, the barge trips, the loooong drives and the islands!
8. The NEW YEAR parties!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
We're all fabulous!!!!
My current fave inspirational quote... i simple love it!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Obsessed about flowers
I just couldn't help it....
After the first shot, i just went on and on and on...
For a virgin photographer, i think i did pretty well, if i may say so myself. :D
After the first shot, i just went on and on and on...
For a virgin photographer, i think i did pretty well, if i may say so myself. :D
Friday, May 16, 2008
Heaven in my mind
So here i am sitting around all kinds of insects flying around me, birds and whatever else. Straight ahead i see the outline of the mountains, the beginning of the mist..... picture perfect really.
I am in Pahang...and it's half pleasure, half work. Pleasure because the villa is super fabulous.
I am scared about getting down to work --- as i do not know if i can give it justice - writing about this place. I am still at loss of words...the right, justifiable words.
I plan to wake up real early tomo to talk a walk uphill and maybe take some pics. Aside from that, i plan to do NOTHING tomorrow. How fantastic is that? That's what the owner of this place recommended for tomo. Just take in all the sights and sounds of the mountains/forest. Wow...
Something bugging me tho - a friend of mine says he can't imagine me as a person who can appreciate the jungle. I don't blame him as i guess he does not know me well enough. I find the hills and mountains very peaceful. I treasure my morning walks in the park alone - a time for me to meditate or just get lost in my thoughts. And it keeps me going -
my own form of motivation.But i am not here to prove myself to anyone. :)
I always have this thought that i hope whoever it is i end up with,....i would like to spend my older years in either Cameron Highlands or somewhere like Ipoh. A smaller place, simple life.
But you wouldn't have guessed that if u met me! But then again, i am full of surprises!! :)
I will try to upload some pics of this place later tonight. For now, i am going to sit back and just listen to the sounds of the Pahang forest!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
In pursuit of happiness (Part 2)
Going back to basics.
My amma's house in Air Hitam. Brought back loads of childhood memories although the house is pretty much different now then it was back 20 years ago.
Tho everything else feels the same - the pathway we 'trek' to go up to the stalls early in the morning for breakfast. :)
Ahh such bliss!
In pursuit of happiness (Part 1)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
A celebration of life
:)
I am heading to Penang for the weekend for 2 main reasons:
1) My grandaunt's 40th death prayers (she's sorta like a grandmother to us) tho i already have 3 grandmas (2 of which have passed on)
2) a 70th birthday celebration
So it's like a celebration weekend, really. My grandaunt lived a full life. She was 82. We were all shocked cuz she's the youngest in the house. My amma, turning 90 this year, and my uncle is 85. So they were absolutely shocked when my grandaunt passed away on Easter night (Sunday).
I remember getting the call early in the morning and i cried. More out of guilt than anything else. You see, i haven't been back to Penang for 5 years at least. How we take things for granted and always assume all will be alright. So i drove up to Penang that morning with my sister and parents.
Talking to my family there and listening to them explaining everything, i got teary again. But i really lost it in church. Cuz it was like the final goodbye to Amma Jo. She was always soo sweet and loving. But i know she is doing fine. I just know it.
So this weekend, it will be a celebration of her life here.
Amma, we will always miss you....see you soon!
I am heading to Penang for the weekend for 2 main reasons:
1) My grandaunt's 40th death prayers (she's sorta like a grandmother to us) tho i already have 3 grandmas (2 of which have passed on)
2) a 70th birthday celebration
So it's like a celebration weekend, really. My grandaunt lived a full life. She was 82. We were all shocked cuz she's the youngest in the house. My amma, turning 90 this year, and my uncle is 85. So they were absolutely shocked when my grandaunt passed away on Easter night (Sunday).
I remember getting the call early in the morning and i cried. More out of guilt than anything else. You see, i haven't been back to Penang for 5 years at least. How we take things for granted and always assume all will be alright. So i drove up to Penang that morning with my sister and parents.
Talking to my family there and listening to them explaining everything, i got teary again. But i really lost it in church. Cuz it was like the final goodbye to Amma Jo. She was always soo sweet and loving. But i know she is doing fine. I just know it.
So this weekend, it will be a celebration of her life here.
Amma, we will always miss you....see you soon!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sights and sounds
Had some friends over here last week from Vienna. They’re doing a documentary for the Euro ’08 – travel around the world in 80 days!! How exciting is that?? Well, I met Manfred through a fellow AFS exchange student Karl when they did their mini Asia tour 3 years ago. Fantastic guys – real fun!
So this time round (as it is for work), Manfred came with Matias (camera man). They did most of the Europe thing...Greece, Egypt and took the cargo ship from India to Singapore. Then a looong train ride to Kuala Lumpur. We agreed to meet up on Thursday after I was done with work.
Thursday night I picked them up from Swiss Inn and we headed off to Luna Bar – I personally think that place is abit too ‘posie’ for the likes of me but it has a fabulous night view of the city. So it’s a MUST for their documentary, right?
But guess what? It was bloody closed for renovations! Arghh…. Then I took them to this spot I always see tourist buses stop and well, I guess it’s a nice spot for pix? Then Manfred asked to go to Ming Tien in Taman Megah. I took him and Karl there previously and they loved it. I guess the amount of food available till ungodly hours, all sorts of aromas, big fruit juices – it was all a perfect mix for them.
It was funny – me trying to talk to the hawkers as Matias was filming. Lucky they did not understand the joke of some Chinese chick talking to fellow countrymen in Bahasa Malaysia!
I still get the ‘pork can ah?’ when I order my pork noodles. Can’t blame them as I order in Bahasa, yet again!! :D
We spent hours shooting there....i made them eat balitong and bamboo lala...(two things i do not eat!! ha ha) and Manfred had to swallow the bamboo lalas for the camera and once there was this extra darn juicy bamboo lala. Arghh. The joy! I do think i can sometimes be A LITTLE evil.
Took Friday off and we headed to KL Tower. We had to ‘re-shoot’ our welcome scene. Manfred and I had to have surprised happy looks on our silly faces, kiss, hug and then hold hands and walk towards the tower. We had to retake like 6 times cuz I was laughing – felt like we were shooting a Bollywood scene. All that’s lacking are the trees to dance around!
We all had a crazy late night and decided to not do anything on Saturday. I had an interesting Saturday night ‘watching football’. Hmm..
On Sunday, I met the boys and we went to buy their train tickets to Bangkok. Yeah, one of the few conditions they have for the documentary was – only by land or sea- no flying! So it’ll take them 2 days to get to Bangkok instead of the 3 hours by flight. Ha!
I said to the camera, “When you’re feeling tired and you can’t feel your ass anymore nor know what day it is while on the train, just remember this – it only takes you THREE hours by flight!” Ha ha…..funny la.
Then we went to KLCC and walked around the city. After they left on the train at 8pm, I went on for dinner with my family.
That night, it’s weird but I felt a sense of loss.
I guess for four days, I felt like I was part of their fantastic adventure. Now it’s back to reality again. It was a great experience though. Loved it.
So this time round (as it is for work), Manfred came with Matias (camera man). They did most of the Europe thing...Greece, Egypt and took the cargo ship from India to Singapore. Then a looong train ride to Kuala Lumpur. We agreed to meet up on Thursday after I was done with work.
Thursday night I picked them up from Swiss Inn and we headed off to Luna Bar – I personally think that place is abit too ‘posie’ for the likes of me but it has a fabulous night view of the city. So it’s a MUST for their documentary, right?
But guess what? It was bloody closed for renovations! Arghh…. Then I took them to this spot I always see tourist buses stop and well, I guess it’s a nice spot for pix? Then Manfred asked to go to Ming Tien in Taman Megah. I took him and Karl there previously and they loved it. I guess the amount of food available till ungodly hours, all sorts of aromas, big fruit juices – it was all a perfect mix for them.
It was funny – me trying to talk to the hawkers as Matias was filming. Lucky they did not understand the joke of some Chinese chick talking to fellow countrymen in Bahasa Malaysia!
I still get the ‘pork can ah?’ when I order my pork noodles. Can’t blame them as I order in Bahasa, yet again!! :D
We spent hours shooting there....i made them eat balitong and bamboo lala...(two things i do not eat!! ha ha) and Manfred had to swallow the bamboo lalas for the camera and once there was this extra darn juicy bamboo lala. Arghh. The joy! I do think i can sometimes be A LITTLE evil.
Took Friday off and we headed to KL Tower. We had to ‘re-shoot’ our welcome scene. Manfred and I had to have surprised happy looks on our silly faces, kiss, hug and then hold hands and walk towards the tower. We had to retake like 6 times cuz I was laughing – felt like we were shooting a Bollywood scene. All that’s lacking are the trees to dance around!
We all had a crazy late night and decided to not do anything on Saturday. I had an interesting Saturday night ‘watching football’. Hmm..
On Sunday, I met the boys and we went to buy their train tickets to Bangkok. Yeah, one of the few conditions they have for the documentary was – only by land or sea- no flying! So it’ll take them 2 days to get to Bangkok instead of the 3 hours by flight. Ha!
I said to the camera, “When you’re feeling tired and you can’t feel your ass anymore nor know what day it is while on the train, just remember this – it only takes you THREE hours by flight!” Ha ha…..funny la.
Then we went to KLCC and walked around the city. After they left on the train at 8pm, I went on for dinner with my family.
That night, it’s weird but I felt a sense of loss.
I guess for four days, I felt like I was part of their fantastic adventure. Now it’s back to reality again. It was a great experience though. Loved it.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Losing myself....
An older post of mine....
Everyone has their moments right?
For my group of friends, i am usually the 'pillar of their strength'. A place where they turn to for advise or just someone to talk to. I'm generally quite positive person but hey, i am entitled to have my down moments too right?
I've realised recently that i am losing my sense of self.
Experiences in life has left me ignorant and aimless. I've just been drifting in life of late that i find myself just going through day by day with no real destination. Just surviving.
Somewhere along the line, i made a decision to not care too much anymore. Not to be too affected by anything or anyone. Not to give anyone the WHOLE me just to be taken advantage of, lied to, used, disrespected, taken for granted (that i will always be there), etc.
I managed to restrain trusting myself to trust my judgement. What i thought was right back then turned out so totally wrong. All that's left is pure silence and a total numb feeling....
Have you ever felt like you're losing bits of yourself?
p.s. : I WILL get over this eventually....just not tonight. Hey, I am NO victim. This is MY moment.
Everyone has their moments right?
For my group of friends, i am usually the 'pillar of their strength'. A place where they turn to for advise or just someone to talk to. I'm generally quite positive person but hey, i am entitled to have my down moments too right?
I've realised recently that i am losing my sense of self.
Experiences in life has left me ignorant and aimless. I've just been drifting in life of late that i find myself just going through day by day with no real destination. Just surviving.
Somewhere along the line, i made a decision to not care too much anymore. Not to be too affected by anything or anyone. Not to give anyone the WHOLE me just to be taken advantage of, lied to, used, disrespected, taken for granted (that i will always be there), etc.
I managed to restrain trusting myself to trust my judgement. What i thought was right back then turned out so totally wrong. All that's left is pure silence and a total numb feeling....
Have you ever felt like you're losing bits of yourself?
p.s. : I WILL get over this eventually....just not tonight. Hey, I am NO victim. This is MY moment.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Keep breathing....
That's all we can do....keep breathing
When you feel like u're lost and no where to go, no one to turn to..
You keep breathing
When you feel like this is a dead end and there's no light at the end of the tunnel..
You keep breathing
When you feel you need to get away or you'll burst..
You keep breathing
When you feel there's no use fighting or hanging on anymore..
You just keep breathing...
When you feel like u're lost and no where to go, no one to turn to..
You keep breathing
When you feel like this is a dead end and there's no light at the end of the tunnel..
You keep breathing
When you feel you need to get away or you'll burst..
You keep breathing
When you feel there's no use fighting or hanging on anymore..
You just keep breathing...
Monday, January 7, 2008
Chicken me
So i attempted to tell J how it is NOT OK how we are now.....and then i chickened out. I guess i don't think its appropriate and well, i somehow felt i was heading towards failure.
And being the safe person i am, i didnt pursue.
Maybe its for the best? *sigh*
We'll see.....
And being the safe person i am, i didnt pursue.
Maybe its for the best? *sigh*
We'll see.....
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