Went to work extra early on Friday. Amazing.
Came home, went for a swim.
Then bought my fave Ramlee burger and sat at the garden.
Looking up to the sky, i asked, "When will there be stars?"
Estrella = star
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
A piece of me
Note : I wrote this in July 2008. Kept it as a draft all this while...
Feliz Cumpleanos! (Happy birthday!)
July 24 was my mummy’s birthday! She turned 65, but still looks REAL good for her age. Surely this is a great sign for moi, no? *fingers crossed* He he…
I had a lot of issues with my mum while growing up – most of the time I was verrry angry with her. Angry with her for what little memories I had when I was young, angry with her for leaving us twice, angry with her for what she did to my dad, angry with her for not letting us get to know her mother while she was alive, etc… the list is endless, really.
So, basically, I was a happy and busy child, but with lots of anger inside. I spent every day playing hockey and tennis and whatever that would keep away from home. There’s just so much I was feeling and mostly from what people told me, not what I remember. Actually I do not have much memories of childhood, which puzzles me. Weird.
Many things that happened would explain my fierce loyalty to my dad throughout my childhood till early adulthood. Moments when i wondered why he'd do that or put up with that? Or why did she do the things she did.... Now, i understand. I really, really do. Everyone sacrificed a part of themselves when they chose to commit. Anyways, this was my ‘light bulb’ moment quite recently. I do wish to remain a little mysterious so I choose not to go into much details here. Only a few of my real good friends know this.
Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because….… Time does pass super fast and I would like to share this. Hopefully, it will make a difference in any way.. no matter how small.
Few years ago, I had an epiphany. (i love this word - epiphany!)
Kids never think of their parents as anyone other than their parents. I used to think my dad knew ALL the answers to my questions. I could ask him any English word and he’d tell me the meaning almost immediately. Genius, I thought!
I expected them to be no one else but my parents – how parents should behave, focus attention only on work and children, buy our school supplies and uniforms, cook us dinner, us us us…all about us, etc. I think it’s a quite typical from any child.
Then as I grow older, I realize that parents are INDIVIDUALs first, and then they became parents (yet ANOTHER ‘light bulb moment’). We tend to forget that. We easily forget that they are individuals first before they became our parents. It’s easy to think that parents should behave in a certain way, work to provide us with support, food, education or whatever else just because they are our parents. And that’s it. Quite selfish, if you come to think about it, huh?
Everyone has a story to tell…… now that I understand them both a little better, I realised my wasted energy. Feeling angry for so long. I have learnt to ‘Live and let live’. And I look forward to spending time with my parents, and listen to their life experiences. Quite colourful, if I may add. Ha…
Since my ‘epiphany’, I have been sharing this thought of mine with many of my close friends. I think that we should just let them be, let them do what they want to do. As long as they’re doing what they wanna do and what makes them happy. My parents have been living apart for many years, though not divorced. They get along MUCH better apart.
I used to live with dad for many years, sometimes I felt like I was his 'wife'…. Looking out for him, making sure everything was ok. I have to admit I sometimes got irritated, wondering why do I have to do this instead of my own mother who is living in a different state. But the time spent is precious to me. We recently gave up the house we lived in for the past 15 years, he moved to Seremban while i am temporarily staying @ my sister's place before i decide on my next big move.
Funnily enough, now my parents are living ‘together’ – side by side (two separate houses) in Seremban. It’s quite amusing, really. I try to make it back one weekend every month and they get pretty ‘lively’ most of the time. More like arguing most of the time.
Even though I am the youngest in my family, I find myself being the moderator. One would complain about the other, and vice versa. And I have to ‘scold’ both of them. Seriously, I think they enjoy getting ‘told off’. Not in a rude way, of course. Kena slap la if rude!
And I love them both so much. And you know what? I would NOT change a single thing!
Feliz Cumpleanos! (Happy birthday!)
July 24 was my mummy’s birthday! She turned 65, but still looks REAL good for her age. Surely this is a great sign for moi, no? *fingers crossed* He he…
I had a lot of issues with my mum while growing up – most of the time I was verrry angry with her. Angry with her for what little memories I had when I was young, angry with her for leaving us twice, angry with her for what she did to my dad, angry with her for not letting us get to know her mother while she was alive, etc… the list is endless, really.
So, basically, I was a happy and busy child, but with lots of anger inside. I spent every day playing hockey and tennis and whatever that would keep away from home. There’s just so much I was feeling and mostly from what people told me, not what I remember. Actually I do not have much memories of childhood, which puzzles me. Weird.
Many things that happened would explain my fierce loyalty to my dad throughout my childhood till early adulthood. Moments when i wondered why he'd do that or put up with that? Or why did she do the things she did.... Now, i understand. I really, really do. Everyone sacrificed a part of themselves when they chose to commit. Anyways, this was my ‘light bulb’ moment quite recently. I do wish to remain a little mysterious so I choose not to go into much details here. Only a few of my real good friends know this.
Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because….… Time does pass super fast and I would like to share this. Hopefully, it will make a difference in any way.. no matter how small.
Few years ago, I had an epiphany. (i love this word - epiphany!)
Kids never think of their parents as anyone other than their parents. I used to think my dad knew ALL the answers to my questions. I could ask him any English word and he’d tell me the meaning almost immediately. Genius, I thought!
I expected them to be no one else but my parents – how parents should behave, focus attention only on work and children, buy our school supplies and uniforms, cook us dinner, us us us…all about us, etc. I think it’s a quite typical from any child.
Then as I grow older, I realize that parents are INDIVIDUALs first, and then they became parents (yet ANOTHER ‘light bulb moment’). We tend to forget that. We easily forget that they are individuals first before they became our parents. It’s easy to think that parents should behave in a certain way, work to provide us with support, food, education or whatever else just because they are our parents. And that’s it. Quite selfish, if you come to think about it, huh?
Everyone has a story to tell…… now that I understand them both a little better, I realised my wasted energy. Feeling angry for so long. I have learnt to ‘Live and let live’. And I look forward to spending time with my parents, and listen to their life experiences. Quite colourful, if I may add. Ha…
Since my ‘epiphany’, I have been sharing this thought of mine with many of my close friends. I think that we should just let them be, let them do what they want to do. As long as they’re doing what they wanna do and what makes them happy. My parents have been living apart for many years, though not divorced. They get along MUCH better apart.
I used to live with dad for many years, sometimes I felt like I was his 'wife'…. Looking out for him, making sure everything was ok. I have to admit I sometimes got irritated, wondering why do I have to do this instead of my own mother who is living in a different state. But the time spent is precious to me. We recently gave up the house we lived in for the past 15 years, he moved to Seremban while i am temporarily staying @ my sister's place before i decide on my next big move.
Funnily enough, now my parents are living ‘together’ – side by side (two separate houses) in Seremban. It’s quite amusing, really. I try to make it back one weekend every month and they get pretty ‘lively’ most of the time. More like arguing most of the time.
Even though I am the youngest in my family, I find myself being the moderator. One would complain about the other, and vice versa. And I have to ‘scold’ both of them. Seriously, I think they enjoy getting ‘told off’. Not in a rude way, of course. Kena slap la if rude!
And I love them both so much. And you know what? I would NOT change a single thing!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Sore ass
It's Saturday night, 10.47pm.
It's been manyyyyyy years since i rode a bicycle and i was a bit unsteady at first. And man, did my ass hurt!!!! There really should be nicely padded, bigger bicycle seats. I mean, it's so necessary. I wonder how serious cyclists do it? Don't their balls get crushed or something??? Lucky i had a pad on (anticipating PMS) which was a sorta nice 'cushion' for my ve-jay-jay (as how Nazi on Grey's Anatomy calls it). *Blush*
It's been an exciting day Saturday. Went to Bukit Cahaya / Bukit Cerakah / Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. This outing was planned about 2 weeks ago and we went there around 7am. Yes, all excited especially when we experienced the cool, fresh air first thing in the morning.
Guess what? The park opens at 8.30am!!!!!!! Ha ha....
So after a walk around the car park, we decided to have breakfast first. At 8.30am, we got into the park and went in search to rent bicycles. It's quite amusing as you have a choice - new bikes or old bikes. New ones for RM5 + RM1 for every additional hour or RM3 + RM1 for each additional hour for old bikes. I, feeling kiasu, chose a new bike. Also cuz they seemed like higher, bigger bikes. :D
Anyway, after like 2 mins of pedalling, it seems like it's all uphill and the bicycles (tho categorised as new) aren't in a fantastic condition so it gets all weird so i ended up pushing my bike uphill (which was most of the time!). How excited i was each time we were going downhill. Getting on the bike and whoeeeeeee!!!!! So fast just to realise that my brakes weren't working too well either. Ha ha. I had to shout 'It'll be best if you can moveeeeee!!!'. So funny.
Overall, i think i cycled 40%, pushed the bicycle uphill 60% of the time. But it was all great fun! After about 8km, and having returned the bicycle, we were told that we took the 'Advance route'!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha...
Came home but was still feeling all adrenaline high and ready for MORE. So i went swimming around 12pm. Yes, real smart of me and as i rushed out, i did not put on any sunblock.
So here i am stretched out on the couch, tv watching me....red-cheeks, sore ass but happy. :D
I wish i took my camera with me. It would've been perfect.
It's been manyyyyyy years since i rode a bicycle and i was a bit unsteady at first. And man, did my ass hurt!!!! There really should be nicely padded, bigger bicycle seats. I mean, it's so necessary. I wonder how serious cyclists do it? Don't their balls get crushed or something??? Lucky i had a pad on (anticipating PMS) which was a sorta nice 'cushion' for my ve-jay-jay (as how Nazi on Grey's Anatomy calls it). *Blush*
It's been an exciting day Saturday. Went to Bukit Cahaya / Bukit Cerakah / Taman Pertanian Shah Alam. This outing was planned about 2 weeks ago and we went there around 7am. Yes, all excited especially when we experienced the cool, fresh air first thing in the morning.
Guess what? The park opens at 8.30am!!!!!!! Ha ha....
So after a walk around the car park, we decided to have breakfast first. At 8.30am, we got into the park and went in search to rent bicycles. It's quite amusing as you have a choice - new bikes or old bikes. New ones for RM5 + RM1 for every additional hour or RM3 + RM1 for each additional hour for old bikes. I, feeling kiasu, chose a new bike. Also cuz they seemed like higher, bigger bikes. :D
Anyway, after like 2 mins of pedalling, it seems like it's all uphill and the bicycles (tho categorised as new) aren't in a fantastic condition so it gets all weird so i ended up pushing my bike uphill (which was most of the time!). How excited i was each time we were going downhill. Getting on the bike and whoeeeeeee!!!!! So fast just to realise that my brakes weren't working too well either. Ha ha. I had to shout 'It'll be best if you can moveeeeee!!!'. So funny.
Overall, i think i cycled 40%, pushed the bicycle uphill 60% of the time. But it was all great fun! After about 8km, and having returned the bicycle, we were told that we took the 'Advance route'!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha...
Came home but was still feeling all adrenaline high and ready for MORE. So i went swimming around 12pm. Yes, real smart of me and as i rushed out, i did not put on any sunblock.
So here i am stretched out on the couch, tv watching me....red-cheeks, sore ass but happy. :D
I wish i took my camera with me. It would've been perfect.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sights and Sounds - Censored
I wrote a post on Sights and Sounds last April - about some friends who came from Austria filming 'Around the world in 80 days' for Euro'08.
The 'Singapore/Malaysia/Thailand/etc on their way to Hong Kong scene' is out.
Quite funny... Of course it is the short version for Austrian TV. I have the uncensored version with me. Ha ha ha!
Can't believe they used our 'Bollywood scene' where we 'reunited' near KL Tower!! Arghh..so short, so funny! Lucky nicely edited. Too bad it rained heavily that day, so the KL city view was blur and grey.
The 'Singapore/Malaysia/Thailand/etc on their way to Hong Kong scene' is out.
Quite funny... Of course it is the short version for Austrian TV. I have the uncensored version with me. Ha ha ha!
Can't believe they used our 'Bollywood scene' where we 'reunited' near KL Tower!! Arghh..so short, so funny! Lucky nicely edited. Too bad it rained heavily that day, so the KL city view was blur and grey.
Letting go...
Aww I miss my bed.....so so much.
The thought of most probably giving it away breaks my heart. But it is essential in my 'letting go' phase to move on. :)
I might be 'letting go' of all my material possessions by early next year. ALL. I have thought about it and i only want to keep ONE thing. My antique chest given to me by my dad - filled with my favourite lamps. That's all i need and it will be stored in my parent's house.
At least i have a picture to remember my lovely bed. And perhaps get another one (better quality) next time. Must remember to get real sturdy base in the future. Ha ha!
No attachments....
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
The Argentine MATE experience
I went to Pejabat Pos Besar Shah Alam this morning to collect a parcel from Argentina.
I have not opened it yet but i know some of the content - a herbal 'mate' (pronounced as ma-te) and some photos from my host family in Resistencia, Chaco. I am too excited but i plan to go home and properly open it up later. The package had such a long trip here - almost 2 months - so i gotta give it the proper 'opening ceremony' it deserves. :)
Then i called my host parents this morning and spoke to them. My papa is going for an open heart surgery next Wed (24/9) so he's in Buenos Aires now. They treat me like their very own daughter. I spent one of the best years of my life there with them. Absolutely unforgettable experience - good and bad. My host parents have been staying in a hotel in Buenos Aires for more than 2 months. My spanish is rusty - i know the words but i just need to think for a while before i speak. Find the words properly so our conversation was kinda abrupt. Ha ha... i even managed to insert a Malay word in between. *blush* Anyway, they are such warm and loving people. They always cry when i call (so passionate and open with their feelings) and they make me wanna cry too. Sigh. I miss them so much.
Mate - reminds me of evenings spent with friends, family and neighbours in Argentina. Just sitting in a circle outside the house or anyone's porch.... you see, it's Argentina's national drink (and Paraguay, Uruguay too i believe). Some are soo addicted to it but the whole process is so meaningful. To me, it's like a fellowship or bonding session. I even read it on Wikipedia... friendship drink, they call it. It's perfect with a game of truco (trick). I have what they say a poker face, so i was pretty damn good at the truco card game! Ha...
Imagine this - sitting on the porch of your house or anyone's porch, the host will then fill a special mate copper/steel cup (i will take a pic of my mate set when i get the chance) with herbs (contains caffeine btw) and pours very hot water into it. A metal straw known as bombilla (its a straw cum sieve). The host has to drink at least once or twice to make sure the drink is clear (smooth) to be passed around. And since it's a kinda small mate cup, the host will fill hot water, pass to the next in the circle, the person drinks it up via bombilla and then passes back to the host. So on and so forth.... it's a beautiful tradition. I love it.
How does it taste like? It takes some getting used to. Quite bitter at first and i can almost guarantee you will burn your tongue -- cuz i did, MANY MANY times...
Some people even add sugar to it make it easier to drink but that would kinda lose the whole original experience. In the summer time, cuz its so damn hot you wanna just be naked, we drink it with cold cordial drinks - i think best with orange cordial!! It's an EVERYDAY, ALL DAY thing over there!
When i came back manyyyyyy years ago, i remember bringing back like two big packs of the herbs for mate - but it went stale cuz i could not find a mate partner here. :(
Would YOU be MY mate partner?
I have not opened it yet but i know some of the content - a herbal 'mate' (pronounced as ma-te) and some photos from my host family in Resistencia, Chaco. I am too excited but i plan to go home and properly open it up later. The package had such a long trip here - almost 2 months - so i gotta give it the proper 'opening ceremony' it deserves. :)
Then i called my host parents this morning and spoke to them. My papa is going for an open heart surgery next Wed (24/9) so he's in Buenos Aires now. They treat me like their very own daughter. I spent one of the best years of my life there with them. Absolutely unforgettable experience - good and bad. My host parents have been staying in a hotel in Buenos Aires for more than 2 months. My spanish is rusty - i know the words but i just need to think for a while before i speak. Find the words properly so our conversation was kinda abrupt. Ha ha... i even managed to insert a Malay word in between. *blush* Anyway, they are such warm and loving people. They always cry when i call (so passionate and open with their feelings) and they make me wanna cry too. Sigh. I miss them so much.
Mate - reminds me of evenings spent with friends, family and neighbours in Argentina. Just sitting in a circle outside the house or anyone's porch.... you see, it's Argentina's national drink (and Paraguay, Uruguay too i believe). Some are soo addicted to it but the whole process is so meaningful. To me, it's like a fellowship or bonding session. I even read it on Wikipedia... friendship drink, they call it. It's perfect with a game of truco (trick). I have what they say a poker face, so i was pretty damn good at the truco card game! Ha...
Imagine this - sitting on the porch of your house or anyone's porch, the host will then fill a special mate copper/steel cup (i will take a pic of my mate set when i get the chance) with herbs (contains caffeine btw) and pours very hot water into it. A metal straw known as bombilla (its a straw cum sieve). The host has to drink at least once or twice to make sure the drink is clear (smooth) to be passed around. And since it's a kinda small mate cup, the host will fill hot water, pass to the next in the circle, the person drinks it up via bombilla and then passes back to the host. So on and so forth.... it's a beautiful tradition. I love it.
How does it taste like? It takes some getting used to. Quite bitter at first and i can almost guarantee you will burn your tongue -- cuz i did, MANY MANY times...
Some people even add sugar to it make it easier to drink but that would kinda lose the whole original experience. In the summer time, cuz its so damn hot you wanna just be naked, we drink it with cold cordial drinks - i think best with orange cordial!! It's an EVERYDAY, ALL DAY thing over there!
When i came back manyyyyyy years ago, i remember bringing back like two big packs of the herbs for mate - but it went stale cuz i could not find a mate partner here. :(
Would YOU be MY mate partner?
Monday, September 15, 2008
I've been burnt...
Yes, it has happened again...but not as painful as the last time.
No, not my heart....my skin.
No one can hurt you when you do not let them in ---> this is MY choice for now tho one idiot (lovingly said, of course) has found himself almost in. Damn. Anyway, that's another topic but now i am talking about sunburn!
So i've been asked if i went off to some island for the weekend, etc.... i wish my story was a little bit more glamorous but err... i went swimming on Sat and Sun in the clubhouse 5 mins from where i live now. And that's my story! ha ha.... Thank God it isn't the serious burn - like the one i suffered after Bali.
So here i am red-faced and red chest -- lovely. I could take a pic, of course, but it might turn out bit porno-ish so let us refrain from that. This is a nice blog. :D
mar y sol ( means sea and sun!)
No, not my heart....my skin.
No one can hurt you when you do not let them in ---> this is MY choice for now tho one idiot (lovingly said, of course) has found himself almost in. Damn. Anyway, that's another topic but now i am talking about sunburn!
So i've been asked if i went off to some island for the weekend, etc.... i wish my story was a little bit more glamorous but err... i went swimming on Sat and Sun in the clubhouse 5 mins from where i live now. And that's my story! ha ha.... Thank God it isn't the serious burn - like the one i suffered after Bali.
So here i am red-faced and red chest -- lovely. I could take a pic, of course, but it might turn out bit porno-ish so let us refrain from that. This is a nice blog. :D
mar y sol ( means sea and sun!)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
What a day.....
Today, i was informed of a death of a friend. I am not close to her as i've only known her for a short time. But it was absolutely shocking nonetheless. You see, her brother found her body in her room and i was told she must've died more than 2 days ago as her body was decomposed.
Such news left me shaken for most of today - the shock of it all. Makes me realise (and reminded) that life is so precious. Do what you wanna do NOW. Never be too busy for anything. Make bloody time. Sigh.
So she has been on my mind the whole day since i found out. May her soul rest in peace. Lyn, you will always be remembered!
This evening, around 9pm, i left my house to drop my friend's laptop off (she left it in my car last Sat). So as i was heading to OUG, i stopped to fill petrol (warning and all). As i got off my car, i saw a lot of smoke coming out from my back tyre (on the right). Like A LOT of smoke and the inside of my sports rim was dark red all around. The petrol attendant and i panicked so i asked him for water. As he poured water(which took forever btw....cuz he had to get it from elsewhere!!), more smoke came out. I think i nearly cried. Some people came to look out of curiosity but you could see them hurrying away as tho they're expecting my car to explode or something. The amount of smoke was unbelievable.
Helpless and all, i called a few friends and felt better when i realised what went wrong. Cancelled my drive to OUG and came home.
Now just trying to calm myself before i sleep.
It's been a traumatising day. Sigh. Goodnight.
Such news left me shaken for most of today - the shock of it all. Makes me realise (and reminded) that life is so precious. Do what you wanna do NOW. Never be too busy for anything. Make bloody time. Sigh.
So she has been on my mind the whole day since i found out. May her soul rest in peace. Lyn, you will always be remembered!
This evening, around 9pm, i left my house to drop my friend's laptop off (she left it in my car last Sat). So as i was heading to OUG, i stopped to fill petrol (warning and all). As i got off my car, i saw a lot of smoke coming out from my back tyre (on the right). Like A LOT of smoke and the inside of my sports rim was dark red all around. The petrol attendant and i panicked so i asked him for water. As he poured water(which took forever btw....cuz he had to get it from elsewhere!!), more smoke came out. I think i nearly cried. Some people came to look out of curiosity but you could see them hurrying away as tho they're expecting my car to explode or something. The amount of smoke was unbelievable.
Helpless and all, i called a few friends and felt better when i realised what went wrong. Cancelled my drive to OUG and came home.
Now just trying to calm myself before i sleep.
It's been a traumatising day. Sigh. Goodnight.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Another year...wiser?
Yes, i have turned 30 since my last post --- and i have not turned another year wiser. :(
Still silly me... ha ha.
Still silly me... ha ha.
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